23
Aug
10

ISRAELIS ARE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME

Back in 2004 the world was outraged when photos were released depicting prisoner abuse and torture at the infamous Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. Apparently, the people in charge of the Israeli military either don’t watch the news or just have unusually poor judgment because, according to Pravda:

“Photos from the discharge album of the former member of the IDF Eden Aberdzhil which she proudly posted on her personal page on Facebook suddenly turned into a serious scandal of the international scale. Several images from the series “Army: the best days of my life” depict a girl in the IDF uniform posing next to the Palestinian detainees who are blindfolded and whose hands are tied. Despite the fact that the controversial album was deleted from the network by the Israeli military, the photographs have been widely disseminated by the media and bloggers.”

Israel claims to have “the most moral army in the world” which is somewhat comical because Hitler said the same thing about his army back in 1938. And on that note, the Holocaust was a really long time ago. Just thought I would point that out. If we’re going by this logic that you can do anything to anyone because, a long time ago, something terrible happened to your people then I’m going to grab a baseball bat and beat up my neighbors. When the police ask me why I did this I will tell them about the Irish Potato Famine and accuse them of being insensitive.

Israel has largely based its multi-pronged assault on the Gaza Strip and West Bank on complaints of rocket fire from the Palestinian territories. This raining curtain of exploding death coming into Israel has killed a total of 28 people (and several cats) since 2001. This makes Palestinian rocket fire the biggest killer of Israelis after car accidents, Hep C, choking on matzo balls and the other thousands of things which kill far more people in Israel every year. But, when building weapons is really the only way your country makes any money, well, I guess you have to blow somebody up.

Despite all of this I honestly believe Israel has a right to exist. And people who still scream about sweeping the Jews into the sea are just crazy. There have been Jews in Israel since the dawn of recorded history. They’re not going anywhere and people need to get used to it. I also don’t understand people who really hate Jews, and I accept that Jewish people have been on the receiving end of the world’s nastiness on more than a few occasions. But, more and more I find my support for Israel ending there because I’m really tired of seeing billions of dollars in U.S. taxpayer money being given to them so they can kill Arabs. Arabs, who in turn, fly airplanes into our buildings. Thanks guys.

Granted, I don’t “get” Israelis. They seem like pretty intelligent people and you have to respect that, for a tiny country, they’ve managed to kick the crap out of the Arab world every time they get attacked. On the other hand, people in Israel still go to discos. And, I think they buy their clothing from Good Will because they’re always dressed in shit my parents wore.

And their Lynndie England looks more like, well, an Israeli chick. And no offense but Israeli women seem to go out of their way to look utterly terrifying. Compared to Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher was a fucking swimsuit model. And then we have that peach in the photo above. It looks like Amy Winehouse made a baby with The Monarch from the Venture Brothers cartoon. On the other hand, at least women in the Israeli Army don’t have to worry about being sexually assaulted if they get captured behind enemy lines. If I saw this thing coming at me with its hands in the air after a firefight I would assume that all the noise had woken up the Kraken.

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