I’m a big believer in the idea that nothing in life is complicated. JFK was killed by a lone narcissist with a rifle. 9/11 was committed by cave-dwelling religious nuts. Both Kristin and Sue Ellen shot J.R.

Last week the GOP rolled out its “Pledge to America”, a straight-to-video sequel of their 1994 box office flop the “Contract with America”. And hey, by golly, you know that Johnny Boehner who wants to be Speaker of the House? Why, he’s just an everyday guy like you and me. Aw shucks. Here’s what he had to say on CNN:

“I’m a small business guy who stumbled into this political arena. And when people talk about my relationship with the business community, I’m sorry, I am the business community. That’s who I am – the – the heart and soul of me. And when I see government, like I did as a small employer, choke the goose that’s laying the golden egg, that’s what drove me here, to fight for a government that allows the American people and the private sector to be the – the engine of opportunity for all Americans,” said Boehner.”

John Boehner’s idea of a “small employer” is Target. And when he says that he represents the American business community it means he represents people like, well, your boss.

I’ve had a lot of bosses in my life. Some of them were genuinely nice people. Some of them not so much. But I don’t believe any of them were evil or insidious in some way. Your boss at work is just, well, different. From an anthropological standpoint. And you have to ask yourself, if your boss were running for elected office would you vote for that person? Do you think the kinds of policies your boss would champion would be beneficial to you and your family and your fellow workers?

Your boss is, in all statistical likelihood, one of the primary sources of stress in your life. They might be cool and easy to get along with. But they wield an unbelievable amount of power over your life. And, this is a person who would lay you off in a heartbeat if it meant getting a promotion or a bigger bonus. Or even if it meant keeping their own job. The workplace is like life in the wild and your boss is simply higher up on the food chain.

So would you seriously vote for this person?

There is an entire political party devoted to your boss and the way he or she sees the world. They’re called Republicans. And I’m not just pissing and moaning over here. They’re quite upfront about it. According to their own Wikipedia page:

“Republicans are generally opposed by labor union management and members, and have supported various legislation on the state and federal levels, including right to work legislation and the Taft-Hartley Act, which gives workers the right not to participate in unions, as opposed to a closed shop, which prohibits workers from choosing not to join unions in workplaces. Some Republicans are opposed to increases in the minimum wage, believing that such increases hurt many businesses by forcing them to cut jobs and services, export jobs overseas, and raise the prices of goods to compensate for the decrease in profit.”

Who would support paying someone less than $7.25 as a livable wage? Your boss. That’s who. Who would advocate stripping the government of the power and ability to enforce workplace standards? Your boss. That’s who. Who ultimately puts company profit over your welfare? Your boss. That’s who. And it’s not because he or she is the “bad guy”. It’s because he or she is not like you or me.

There is a party that supposedly represents people like you and me. And they do, when they aren’t trying to be more like Republicans. Believe it or not this party currently controls both houses of Congress and the White House. And when they’re not acting like a bunch of pussies they get some cool things done. Like setting a minimum wage or giving money and power to a federal agency like OSHA. Under this party’s governance you and I tend to get a bigger piece of the pie.

And you know who wants to vote them out of office this November? Your boss. That’s who.



  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: