06
Oct
10

IT’S ONLY A FUCKING MOVIE

I myself am not a Lord of the Rings fan. Fantasy has never really been my thing. But, I do respect the films and the books for being the greatest achievements of that genre. Or so my friends tell me. My wife and some of my friends are real fantasy nuts (I’m into spaceships and laser guns). Usually once the word “Hobbit” comes up my brain shuts down all higher functions and I go into a kind psychological time-warp where I wake up hours later to discover that I broke into a stranger’s house and went to sleep naked in their bed. Why does this happen? According to Wikipedia:

“Historically, the Hobbits are known to have originated in the Valley of Anduin, between Mirkwood and the Misty Mountains. According to The Lord of the Rings, they have lost the genealogical details of how they are related to the Big People. At this time, there were three “breeds” of Hobbits, with different physical characteristics and temperaments: Harfoots, Stoors and Fallohides. While situated in the valley of the Anduin River, the Hobbits lived close by the Éothéod, the ancestors of the Rohirrim, and this led to some contact between the two. As a result many old words and names in “Hobbitish” are derivatives of words in Rohirric.”

I have no idea what the hell any of this means but it’s apparently one of the most anticipated movies of all time. Peter Jackson is set to direct the two films which are actually prequels to The Lord of the Rings. But, labor disputes in New Zealand have resulted in a protracted shutdown of the film. And now Sam Neill is involved. According to BBC News:

“Jurassic Park actor Sam Neill has criticised New Zealand’s government for getting involved in an ongoing row over The Hobbit. Production on Peter Jackson’s movie is in jeopardy after unions urged actors to boycott the films over pay. On Monday, prime minister John Key said the government was holding discussions with the key parties. But Neill told a local newspaper: “The last thing we need here is for the situation to be politicised.”

Why in the name of Zeus’ beard is the government of New Zealand getting involved with the production of a movie about goddamn fairy midgets? And who the hell does Sam Neill think he is getting involved with the government of New Zealand? He’s a fucking actor. Nobody elected him so nobody gives a shit what he thinks about New Zealand’s labor policies.

Well, apparently someone does because it’s being carried on just about all the major news sites today. Neill must be a graduate of the Hogshits Academy or whatever because he has definitely cast his spell over the international media. Either that or our civilization is sinking deeper and deeper into another dark age. I could go either way, personally.

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2 Responses to “IT’S ONLY A FUCKING MOVIE”


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