I was just saying the other day to a friend of mine that we don’t go back and revisit national embarrassments enough in this country. And wouldn’t you know it I wasn’t alone. It seems that the wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas called Anita Hill and asked her to apologize for telling the world what a sick pervert her husband is 20 years ago.

In case you don’t remember any of this, Clarence was nominated to the Supreme Court by George Bush (not that one, the other one) in 1991. As a Senate vote neared a woman named Anita Hill was called to testify before the Senate about allegations of sexual harassment made by Clarence while she worked for him during the 1980’s. According to MSNBC Virginia Thomas had this to say:

“I would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband,” the voicemail said in part, according to NBC News. “So give it some thought and certainly pray about this and come to understand why you did what you did.”

Thomas said in a statement that her call was an attempt at “extending an olive branch” to Hill.”

I’ve never understood why the governing class has to be so classless. The really sad thing about the whole Anita Hill affair 20 years ago was not that a man was harassing a woman in the workplace. It was how utterly lame and retarded his idea of sexually harassing someone was. According to Wikipedia:

“Hill’s testimony included a wide variety of language that she allegedly was subjected to by Thomas and that she found inappropriate:

He spoke about acts that he had seen in pornographic films involving such matters as women having sex with animals and films showing group sex or rape scenes….On several occasions, Thomas told me graphically of his own sexual prowess….Thomas was drinking a Coke in his office, he got up from the table at which we were working, went over to his desk to get the Coke, looked at the can and asked, “Who has put pubic hair on my Coke?”

Seriously, Clarence, just grab her ass and ask her out. That’s what any self-respecting sexual aggressor does. They don’t prance around the room giggling about porno tapes and pubic hair like a jackass. They don’t keep blow up sex dolls on the sofa of their office. They don’t hang autographed pictures of Long Dong Silver on the wall. And I’m willing to bet he can’t say “boobies” without snickering and hiding his face in his hands. Did I mention that he’s a Supreme Court Justice?

What I really don’t understand is why Virginia Thomas is bringing all of this back up now. Her husband got away with it. Nobody remembers it anymore. Then again I guess some people can’t help themselves when it comes to getting attention. Or talking to coworkers about their genitalia. Or the pubic hair content of soft drinks.

If I were Virginia Thomas I would want an apology as well. Firstly, from my parents for giving me some of the most hideous DNA found on Earth. Secondly, I think a “sorry” is in order from the millions of plastic surgeons in the world who did nothing to stop her from looking… well, the way she looks.

This, of course, makes Clarence’s depravity in the workplace much easier to understand. They say that a man ultimately marries his mother. Clarence at least tried thinking out of the box on that one (Virginia is white, Clarence is black). It seems to me that he tried going a little too far off the reservation when he married a self-righteous Orc.



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