Prince Charles is one of the most photographed men in the world. He’s also one of the richest and most influential people alive. And yet he has the personality of an intestinal parasite and a face like a punctured scrotum. In the real world, the best someone like that could hope for is managing a bowling alley somewhere. Or maybe being a teacher.

But, being part of a monarchy has its perks. For example, when your armored Rolls Royce needs work you just ask parliament to jack up the costs of a public education threefold to pay for it even though you’re one of the richest families in the world.

“A car containing Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall has been attacked amid violence after MPs voted to raise university tuition fees in England. A window was cracked and their car hit by paint, but the couple were unharmed.

In angry scenes, protesters battled with police in Parliament Square. Hundreds were contained on Westminster Bridge for a time by officers. Police say 12 officers and 43 protesters have been injured, while 22 arrests were made.

Prime Minister David Cameron said it was “shocking and regrettable” that protesters had attacked the prince’s car.” – BBC News

You see, since 1066 AD the British Royal Family has been part of what’s called “The Civil List”. This is a section of the yearly budget in Britain which goes to make sure that the Royals look royal by providing them with military security, vast palaces and more cars than Jay Leno.

I wouldn’t expect a bunch of semi-inbred twits like the British Royal Family to understand why normal, broke people would be upset about a triple hike in the cost of an education. The amount of money the average person spends on education during the course of their lifetime is probably less than what Dumbo and his wife spend on coaches to teach them how to look genuinely surprised (like in the above photo) in a single day.

You see, Charles the Lord Almighty of Fontleroy Upon the Thames in Wessex or whatever the fuck your title is, not everyone is born rich. It’s not like everyone comes into this world heir to a fortune and blessed with a name that opens more doors than a black guy in Manhattan.

The British Royals are among the largest landowners in the world. They are in that stratosphere of rich where you get rich because you’re rich. It’s no joke, they pay you to be rich. And I guess I should be more sensitive to the rights and needs of people who have so much money that their money makes money and nobody has to work or contribute anything meaningful to human society. I mean, I know Princess Diana did something about landmines in Africa. And her sons have done incredible things with their teeth. And I suppose that a royal figurehead does give a nation a certain sense of… paying for an education that was supposed to be paid for by the tax dollars they already paid to begin with…

Fuck it. Just kill these people.


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