27
Dec
10

SARAH PALIN: FAILING UPWARDS

Chances of winning the nomination: Good

Chances of beating Barack Obama: Poor

Retard Index: Beyond Measure

There’s very little I can say about Sarah Palin that hasn’t already been said. I almost never do pieces on her because, frankly, never in my life have I seen so much written about someone so transparent and one-dimensional.

She reminds me of the Nicole Kidman character in TO DIE FOR. She’s a shark when it comes to getting attention. But, that’s really it. And for as deeply as we want to dig to see what lies beneath I sense that there really is nothing there except for a constant sucking sound.

Palin is the end result of some 40 years of conservative political inbreeding. What we see as her jaw-dropping ignorance is a positive moral virtue in retard culture. Like George Bush (not that one, the other one) her complete lack of intellect is viewed as a sign of purity. It’s what makes her “good people”.

There is a simple metric when it comes to political campaigns: it’s not enough to be liked, your opponent has to be hated. For every wide-eyed idealist who voted for Barack Obama there was an angry realist infuriated at the idea of John McBush getting into office. After eight years of that crap I knew I would vote for Charles Manson if it meant keeping those people out of power.

Palin’s popularity long ago hit its ceiling. Few people are going to start liking her at this point no matter how many “you betchas” she Twitters or caribou she guns down. But Palin, like many conservatives, actually believes that if she just keeps doing and saying the same things over and over again there will one day be a different outcome.

In a general election look for Obama to… well, speak in complete sentences. Palin’s political spasticity will eventually show itself, probably by the first debate. You may have fallen out of love with Barack. But admit it, the first time you envision a White House with plaid drapes and corks on all the forks, you’ll be up bright and early come Election Day.

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