This has been a busy week for me so far. This is my second move in as many months. First to a new city and now to a new apartment. But, by next week, I should be up and running every day again.

But before I tackle moving a queen-size bed up a flight of stairs I thought I would tackle China.

You know, the country where all our shit comes from? Yeah. Them. Chinese President Hu Jintao is visiting the U.S. this week and President Obama is greeting him by throwing a lavish state dinner. This will be ironic because most of the food and dinnerware they’ll be using most likely comes from China already.

We don’t like the Chinese. We love them. American business owners are able to masturbate with cash because everything is cheaper over there. And it’s cheaper because instead of paying workers for their labor in China they agree not to have them shot. It’s capitalism on a whole other level. It’s basically what America would look like if conservatives had their way.

China is a capitalist dictatorship. They may run around calling everything “The People’s” this or “The Revolutionary” that. But they’re about as Communist as I am African (I’m not, by the way. I mean I know you can’t see me but just take my word for it).

In the end it won’t be bombs and missiles which start our inevitable war with China. It will be a far more insidious and destructive force: economics.

“Trade between the US and China is worth $400bn, up from $100m 30 years ago, when the US formalised relations with the communist state. The US is also encouraging China to buy tens of billions of dollars of aircraft from Boeing, car parts, agricultural goods and beef.

A series of deals on bilateral trade, energy, environmental protection, infrastructure building, and cultural exchanges are expected to be signed during the visit, Chinese state media reported.

Meanwhile, US senators have been pressing Congress to penalise Beijing for “manipulating” its currency.

They say it is important to punish China if it does not allow the yuan to rise in value rather than manage its exchange rate – making Chinese products cheaper in the US and raising the price of US goods in China.” – BBC NEWS

I never did well in math or economics in school. That’s probably why I just fell asleep during that last paragraph. Something about rates for managing a Chinese woman named Yuan. And there’s beef involved. That’s cool. I’m kind of hungry now that I think about it.

It sounds like we’re asking China to buy more of our shit and pay more for it. I’m not sure what they get out of the deal. Us either for that matter because, frankly, I would rather buy our shit instead of theirs. And, I’m not sure how you manipulate currency but if it’s anything like manipulating the clitoris, well, it’s going to be a long century.


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