14
Mar
11

JOHNNY GET YOUR GUN

It’s a late day for me today. It’s been a kind of “bizarro” day in which everything I normally do in the morning got put off until this afternoon and vice versa. Up was down. Black was white. Hot was cold. Strangely, I don’t have any better luck getting laid and I’m still in debt in this alternate universe. So fuck you, reality. I’m getting drunk.

Anyway, I’ll admit I wasn’t crazy about John Kerry when he ran for President in 2004. But, I suppose out of every Democrat running for the nomination that year he had the best shot. And I gave him a lot of credit for having the guts to take on Bush (that one) at a time before he became less popular than Ed Gein.

Kerry keeps himself in the spotlight though. Like John McCain he’s a political brain mass that can be beaten into submission but never really goes away and still poses the risk of driving you nuts one day. And if you don’t think your life is unfair just consider that this guy gets way more ass than you do. Yeah, I know. Let me pour you one of these.

Kerry is right out there today advocating we get ourselves embroiled in another conflict far away from our own shores. Which is kind of ironic because, if memory serves, he ran on a platform of not doing that kind of thing seven years ago. Then again it’s the bizarro world today, so, I’m not really surprised by anything.

In a column running in THE GUARDIAN today (among others) Kerry is advocating that we set up a “no-fly zone” over Libya to prevent Muommar Khaddaffi from using aircraft to put down the current revolt against his regime. He argues that we need to intervene because of past instances where our failure to act has resulted in terrible consequences.

“Some cite Bosnia, where Nato took too long to protect civilian populations in the mid 1990s, as a reason to act. Others remember Rwanda, where President Bill Clinton later expressed regret for not acting to save innocent lives. But the stakes in Libya today are more appropriately underscored by the tragedy in southern Iraq in the waning days of the Persian Gulf war, 20 years ago.”

Let’s be honest here. Bush (the other one) didn’t intervene in Iraq’s internal affairs because he was intelligent enough to see what a festering toilet of pain and agony it was. As opposed to his son who dove into the toilet bowl headfirst because someone told him there was oil down there somewhere.

We didn’t intervene in Rwanda because they don’t have shit. Literally. There’s not even any fecal matter there. And as far as Bosnia, well, most people still have no idea where that is. Even our troops who fought there.

Libya has lots of oil. So I’m sure we’re going to go ahead and get ourselves wrapped up in a hopeless mess there now. Strangely, whenever we send our military to other countries for their oil we never seem to end up getting any of it. Maybe this time it will be different. HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Shall I top you off? Cheers.

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