Forgive me for being blunt (or don’t, I really don’t care) but I’m starting to think that we need to begin dissecting the brains of certain conservative types. I really feel that, until we understand how they actually work, we’re never going to be able to help them. Or ourselves.

I know what you’re thinking: (And yeah, I do. I’ve had “the sight” since I was a kid) Magnus, are you about to go on a hopelessly skewed leftist rant about the injustices of the American workplace? The short answer is “yes”. The longer, and admittedly more entertaining answer, is “goddamn right I am you fucking right-wing stooge”.

“Maine GOP Gov. Paul LePage followed through with his decision to remove a mural depicting the history of the workers’ movement from the state’s labor department lobby, a spokeswoman said Monday.

The controversy over the 36-foot-long, 11-panel mural erupted last week when a LePage administration official announced that the artwork would be removed and that conference rooms dedicated to American labor movement icons would be renamed.

Administration officials said the change was needed to reflect a new image for the department, one not tilted toward organized labor. They said visitors to the lobby had complained that the mural is anti-business.” – CNN

That’s the mural up there. Real Communist propaganda, isn’t it? I mean, Jesus, it’s one step away from constructing a guillotine in the lobby and dragging bankers and mortgage lenders screaming to their deaths.

Basically, members of the pro-business community, i.e. your boss, aren’t happy that you, the average worker, is represented by your own fucking government. More accurately that the goddamn Department of Labor in Maine should actually have pictures of laborers in it.

By this logic we should be able to go into the local Chamber of Commerce and take down all the pictures of rich assholes on the wall and replace them with “something more appropriate”. Pictures of Trotsky and Lenin, perhaps. Maybe a still photo from BATTLESHIP POTEMKIN.

Firstly, and most importantly, fuck your boss. Your boss is the boss and the price of that cushy job and title is being unpopular. Of course the Department of Labor is anti-business. The Department of Labor is supposed to be where the rest of us go for justice when we’ve had enough of their crap.

Secondly, the members of the “business community” need to keep their half-assed entrepreneurial fantasies to themselves. Most of you are not Rockefellers or Hearsts and never will be. The vast majority of your business ventures will ultimately fail. In fact, the majority of you will one day need a Department of Labor that looks after laborers. Why? Because after the pizza joint or the landscaping business you sunk your life savings into goes belly up you’re going to be just like us: another sap working for a living.



  1. 1 Mata
    April 1, 2011 at 7:04 PM

    Sheer genius. What people don’t understand is that when big business infiltrates government (and it has) there are no checks and balances. They don’t have to answer to the public and they run everything with the bottom line in mind. Then, the middle-American t-shirt shop owner thinks he’s being patriotic by taking on the extreme right wing views against the left-wing socialist stance limiting the lawless and tax evading rampage these billion dollar corporations are on. Keep on fighting the good fight.

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