06
Apr
11

AWWWW RASPBERRIES…

Economics is not going to solve the problem. Economics is the problem. It’s that kind of attitude that made me a real hit with my high school Algebra teacher. She was always telling me how there was nothing mathematics could not do. I responded by asking her how much Algebra was helping her with her failed marriage, weight problem and generally unlikable personality.

She gave me a D because I wouldn’t go to bed with her and get her pregnant. Of course she tried hiding it behind some nonsense about “failed tests” and “complete lack of motivation”. At that point, though, I had used the term “predatory sexual aggressor” to the school board and the cops enough times that they didn’t listen to a word she had to say.

You might be wondering what Algebra has to do with economics. The answer is simple: numbers. What are you, stupid?

“Less than three days away from a government shutdown, House Republican leaders stood defiant today laying blame on President Obama and Democrats if the lights go out. “The president isn’t leading,” House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) charged, noting first that he liked the president personally and that they “get along well.”

He criticized the president for not implementing any of his own fiscal commission’s recommendations in his budget. And he upped the ante, saying House Republicans were prepared to go forward with a bold one-week continuing resolution that would cut a whopping $12 billion in spending but continue to fund the Pentagon through September.” – MSNBC

Yeah, I’m sure they get along well. Boehner is probably scared shitless around Obama, just like white conservatives are around all black dudes. I doubt he even hears what Obama is saying when they talk. He probably just tenses up and keeps repeating “don’t say black… don’t say black… don’t say black…” in his head.

That’s Republican Congressman Paul Ryan up there doing his Buster Keaton impression. Up until recently nobody knew who this guy even was. Then he came up with a solution to the government’s budget crisis which involved giving what little money is left in America to the small fraction of people who already have most of it. Now he’s a “rising star” in the GOP. Kind of like when I beat the crap out of that gay Chinese Muslim kid and became a “rising star” in the Boy Scouts.

At 19, Ryan is the second youngest member of the House after Majority Leader Eric Cantor who is 13. Kids today, I tell you. I remember when I was that young. I used to believe that if we just gave all our money to a handful of people at the top of the socio-economic hierarchy then it would, by sheer force of gravity, rain down on the rest of us. A kind of “trickle down” effect if you will. Then again I also used to believe that parachute pants were cool and that strippers were genuinely attracted to me.

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