11
May
11

HOLLOW POINTS FOR THE SNITCHES

It’s amusing to me the kinds of things that constitute being a “rising star” in the Republican Party these days. Usually any fresh faced capitalist whose father clearly never hugged him enough and has a plan to make more poor people is suddenly rumored to be the next President. Take New York Representative Michael Grimm for example.

Frankly, if I saw this psycho coming at me on the street I would assume he was about to rob me for steroid money. So, you know, I’d probably shoot him. You might say that kind of comment is inflammatory. Well, I say he shouldn’t walk around looking like he just worked a guy over with a crowbar. And of course when it comes to informants this is the guy they send to pin a fucking canary to your corpse.

“U.S. House Republicans are mounting a last-ditch effort to influence a corporate whistleblower rule that companies fear will drive cash-hungry tipsters directly to the government, undermining internal compliance programs. Experts from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce will be among the witnesses at a hearing Wednesday afternoon into the Securities and Exchange Commission rule that responds to the whistleblower provisions in last year’s Dodd-Frank financial oversight law.

The SEC’s proposal would reward people who provide original substantive tips leading to enforcement actions that result in sanctions exceeding $1 million.

Representative Michael Grimm has drafted a bill that would amend Dodd-Frank by making internal reporting a requirement before a whistleblower can get a financial reward.” – REUTERS

Basically, they feel that if you find out your employer is breaking the law you should try talking to them about it first. Your boss is a sensible person. And the workplace is just like one big family. What’s that? Uncle Freddie is touching you where you pee? My, that’s terrible. Let’s just take care of it nice and quiet like. No need for the police or DCFS to get involved. After all, government intrusion is the real crime.

That’s cool. Hey, let’s pass a law that says you have to ask the rapist to stop sodomizing you before you can call the police. Better yet, let’s say you have to report kidnappings and murders to the Mexican drug cartels that commit them before you can go to the authorities and make a big headache for everyone.

It’s also funny that corporate America would frown upon someone taking advantage of a government financial opportunity. Like, really funny. Like so funny that I think I need to go and get drunk to keep from driving my car through the lobby of a bank.

I am honestly confounded by those who say that the private sector should police itself. Because it won’t. Why would it? The profit motive is fairly simple: make a profit, by any means necessary. The business brain is not designed for empathy or morality. In fact, it finds these concepts confusing. It’s like teaching a Terminator about why humans cry or trying to get a heterosexual white man to understand the social relevance of dancing.

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