06
Jul
11

THE REPUBLICANS KNOW HOW TO FIX THE ECONOMY

I like magic as much as the next guy. Gandolph. Tinkerbell. Scientology. I dig a good show in Vegas. One of my first memories as a child was watching Doug Henning try to hide his homosexuality on stage while making shit levitate. I remember getting one of those beginner magic kits as a kid for that two weeks I wanted to be a magician. When I realized it was all just illusion, well, I sort of lost interest.

But while magic is entertaining, science is where my heart really lies. There’s a fundamental concept in science which holds that you cannot create or destroy matter, only change its form. That same rule applies to money. By the simple rules of science, if you keep giving money to rich people then it has to come from somewhere. And by the simple rules of capitalism it’s probably going to come from the rest of us.

“The White House said on Wednesday it believed there were enough Democrats and Republicans in both houses of Congress who would support getting rid of tax breaks in order to pass a deficit deal.

The White House is locked in a dispute with congressional Republicans about how to cut the deficit and agree a deal to raise the debt limit.

President Barack Obama wants to get rid of tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans. Republicans say that would hurt the economy.” – REUTERS

Polls routinely show that a healthy majority of Americans want to raise taxes on the rich. Which is one reason we should because I thought that’s how democracy worked. The other reason we should tax the rich is because, you know, fuck them. Yeah we should tax the rich. Tax the living hell out of them. And if they complain we should tax them some more. And if I hear even one jackass with a private jet bitch about how that’s “not American” we should tax them yet again. Then give them the finger.

Republicans have long argued that you have to make the rich even richer. They believe that by the sheer force of their good will and deeply benign nature wealth will spread to the rest of us. And even though this has never worked, ever, gosh darnit we just need to keep trying it until it does work. Which, by the way, is the clinical definition of insanity. But, hey, that’s cool.

Republicans don’t like science. In fact they’ve spent the better part of 50 years doing their best to annihilate it in favor of magical concepts like creationism and the free market. Unfortunately, as I discovered as a child, there’s really no such thing as magic. It’s all just a fucking illusion. But, much like the way we’ll all watch the same goddamn card trick over and over again, I’m sure we’re just going to keep footing the bill in the hopes that maybe this time it will be different. In America we’re crazy like that.

 

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2 Responses to “THE REPUBLICANS KNOW HOW TO FIX THE ECONOMY”


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