Reading the fine print is very important. If someone is going to try and fuck you over they’re probably going to use the fine print. That’s what fine print is for. There’s a good reason that parts of your credit card statement or rental car agreement are printed so small it actually hurts to try and read it.

Fine print can also help hide how completely and totally ignorant you are. Then again, so can rather normal-sized, easily read print at the very beginning of a document you are being asked to sign to further your national political ambitions.

“A social conservative Iowa group has retracted language regarding slavery from the opening of a presidential candidates’  pledge, amid a growing controversy over the document that Michele Bachmann had signed and Rick Santorum committed to.

The original “marriage vow” from the Family Leader, unveiled last week, included a line at the opening of its preamble, which suggested that black children born into slavery were better off in terms of family life than African-American kids born today.

“Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA?s first African-American President,” read the preamble.

But this evening, amid growing questions aimed at Bachmann, Family Leader officials said they’d removed the slavery language from the preamble.

“After careful deliberation and wise insight and input from valued colleagues we deeply respect, we agree that the statement referencing children born into slavery can be misconstrued, and such misconstruction can detract from the core message of the Marriage Vow: that ALL of us must work to strengthen and support families and marriages between one woman and one man,” the group’s officials said in a statement. “We sincerely apologize for any negative feelings this has caused, and have removed the language from the vow.” – POLITICO

Let me be perfectly clear: conservatives are not racists. They’re just people with a staggering obliviousness to history and other cultures. And a complete and utter intolerance to non-white, non-Christian and non-wealthy people. And at the end of the day they just want to bring back the old days that none of them were alive during but which have been completely romanticized. Like the 1950’s or the Confederacy. Or the Inquisition.

My conservative friends (and yes, I have them) are always quick to decry charges of racism and intolerance against them. Strangely, they’re never quick to decry shit like this. And why the fuck would you say something like this to begin with? Does someone really have to point out how completely moronic a paragraph like that is? And, of course, when you do point it out they always tell you that it’s being taken out of context or being “misconstrued”.

On the other hand I can sympathize. I remember this one time I got pulled over for going 85 miles-per-hour on the sidewalk. While drunk and firing an Uzi out the window. Blasting SKREWDRIVER and Screaming racial epithets in German. I later told the jury that they were misconstruing my real intent which was the celebration of my virginity. I forgave them for convicting me because I’m a good person. Not a hateful bigot who makes decisions based on the “evidence”.



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