12
Jul
11

PAUL RYAN GOT HIS DRINK ON

Yeah. I’m tired of this too. But, as much as I hate money and economics the fact is that the debt debate is probably the most pressing issue we’re facing right now. Well, in all fairness, the most pressing issue for me is trying to get my wife and kids out of the house so I can catch up on all the interracial porn I’ve been downloading. Racism has no place in our society or in my pants. My penis loves everyone. It’s kind of like Jesus that way.

This story is about a week old but it’s been quietly gaining steam. Especially since Bitch McConnell, the Senate’s ranking Republican, is now declaring there will be no progress until America puts another rich white man in the Oval Office. Because, you know, that’s just what we need.

“Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), a leading advocate of shrinking entitlement spending and the architect of the plan to privatize Medicare, spent Wednesday evening sipping $350 wine with two like-minded conservative economists at the swanky Capitol Hill eatery Bistro Bis.

Susan Feinberg, an associate business professor at Rutgers, was at Bistro Bis celebrating her birthday with her husband that night. When she saw the label on the bottle of Jayer-Gilles 2004 Echezeaux Grand Cru Ryan’s table had ordered, she quickly looked it up on the wine list and saw that it sold for an eye-popping $350, the most expensive wine in the house along with one other with the same pricetag.

Feinberg, an economist by training, was even more appalled when the table ordered a second bottle. She quickly did the math and figured out that the $700 in wine the trio consumed over the course of 90 minutes amounted to more than the entire weekly income of a couple making minimum wage.

Feinberg said all three men were “droning on loudly during the evening that liberals think that if you’re a millionaire, you have done something wrong.” – TPM

No. Being wealthy does not mean you have done something wrong. It means you’re a dick, probably. And not being liked kind of comes with the territory of having lots of money. Deal with it. But, believe it or not I do place legitimacy in the American Dream. Who wouldn’t want to be rich? And who doesn’t dream about working hard at something and succeeding?

The problem is when rich people make decisions for the rest of us. Being rich means you no longer have anything in common with 99 percent of the people in this country. So maybe you should take your millions and go, you know, fuck off somewhere. Go buy an island or hang out with Richard Branson or something. Do some blow. Go on now.

Someone who drinks $350 bottles of wine like two buck Chuck is not someone who should be actively involved in solving this country’s financial woes. Especially not when they’re pissing and crying about spending. And if you can afford $350 bottles of wine you probably shouldn’t be having temper tantrums about paying more taxes. But, that’s just me.

Finally, and this is the wineaux in me talking, but if you’re paying that kind of money for a bottle of wine then you’re a jackass. Real connoisseurs judge wine with their senses and not the heftiness of the price tag. Kind of like with hookers. She may charge a cool grand to wear that Raggedy Ann costume but believe you me, your penis will be just as happy with $50 and a Bozo wig.

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3 Responses to “PAUL RYAN GOT HIS DRINK ON”


  1. August 10, 2012 at 8:49 AM

    Feinberg’s a bit of a nosy bitch isn’t she? Nothing better to do on a birthday dinner?
    Funny, I found it for $135.00. Why are all liberals opposed to prosperity?? Let the man enjoy he wine for Christ sake!

    • 2 Anonymous
      August 11, 2012 at 2:57 AM

      You probably found it at cost. Keep in mind that they were drinking it at a RESTAURANT, and the mark up on wine is exhorbitant. I’m sure that there were equally good bottles for 80 (including mark up) that he could have “enjoyed”, but he was just being an entitled and out of touch with regular folk prick.

    • August 11, 2012 at 11:03 PM

      It’s one thing to enjoy your prosperity. It’s another thing entirely to claim you are some kind of fiscal genius and have the answers to all our financial problems when you personally make retarded economic decisions.


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