18
Jul
11

APPARENTLY, MISSILES ARE NOT DANGEROUS

So I had to work today, all day, and I got up extra early to post something this morning. But, the internet didn’t work. And while I’m sure it was just a coincidence there is a part of me that feels that my internet provider is out to get me. I mean, they had all day to fuck up and they chose the one time I needed internet access. What other conclusion am I supposed to come to?

At any rate, since my mind usually wanders while I’m at work, I’ve had all day to think about this one. And if you think that makes me a lazy employee, well, check this out:

“Romanian officials have reassured the public after the theft of more than 60 missile warheads from a train. The warheads were taken from a railway car carrying military equipment to neighbouring Bulgaria on Saturday. Officials said the stolen warheads could not be detonated because they were in component form without explosives.

Investigators say the missiles could have been stolen for their scrap metal value. Romanian media said when the freight train stopped in Giurgiu, southern Romania, it was found that doors on the railway car had been forced and four boxes of 16 warheads stolen. Officials are investigating how the theft could have happened while the consignment was being guarded by paramilitary police.

Romanian officials close to the investigation told two daily newspapers that the warheads did not contain explosives. Romanian police spokesman Florin Hulea also reassured the public, saying the warheads posed no risk.” – BBC NEWS

Although I’m not a military expert I’m going to speak rather definitively on the issue and say that nobody steals fucking missiles for scrap metal. People steal missiles to fire them. Usually at buildings or people. And, yes, without warheads they are indeed harmless. Until someone puts warheads in them. At which point they become pretty goddamn dangerous.

I’m also not an expert on Romanian paramilitary police. Yet it strikes me that their inability to guard a train full of missiles either means they’re a bunch of fucking idiots or they were somehow involved. And what do they care? They’re Romanians. Nobody wants to fire missiles at them.

Finally, and this is the part I really hate, don’t tell me that there’s no risk. I hate it when I’m told there’s no risk when something incredibly risky happens. “Stolen missiles” kind of goes up there with “nuclear meltdown” and “financial collapse” with respect to things which are really fucking bad news no matter how you spin it.

This actually reminds me that I would like to reassure all of the women I’ve slept with over the years that these lesions on my groin are nothing to worry about and pose no risk. Also, to the bus full of autistic adults I drunkenly exposed myself to, there’s nothing to worry about. I mean I know I said some pretty heinous stuff while I had my dick out and was making devil horns with my fingers. But, that was just drunk talk and nothing personal. So, you know, quit whining.

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