27
Jul
11

LET’S NOT LOSE OUR HEADS HERE

There usually comes a point at every party when you know it’s time to leave. I remember being at a graduation party once in high school. I was repeatedly asked “Who are you?” and “What are you doing with our silverware?” And thus the evening came to a close. I guess some people just don’t know how to have a good time.

I think another moment that signals the end of the festivities is something like this:

“Afghan insurgents appeared to continue their assassination campaign against key public figures on Wednesday with the killing of the mayor of Kandahar.

Ghulam Haider Hamidi was targeted by a suicide bomber who got into the municipality compound in Kandahar City with explosives concealed under his turban. The technique was first used earlier this month in a mosque in the city during a memorial service for Ahmed Wali Karzai, a regional strongman and half-brother of the president.

Abdul Manan, a municipality employee, said the mayor had emerged from his office into the garden, where he made a call on his mobile phone. The assassin grabbed him and detonated the bomb. “I rushed outside and saw the mayor was lying still on the ground,” said Manan. “Another headless body was next to him and the mayor had deep wounds on his face and chest.”

The fact that the Taliban’s spokesmen were relatively slow to claim credit for the assassination prompted speculation that his killing could be the result of a personal grudge.” – THE GUARDIAN

Jesus. If this is how they handle personal grudges over there then I think there’s not a whole lot we’re going to accomplish. That’s pretty hardcore. I mean I deal with people who have pissed me off by putting sugar in their gas tank or knocking up their daughters. I can’t even begin to imagine being able to have people commit suicide attacks. Everyone from Visa to that woman with the poodle who shits on my lawn would be dead.

I’m going to engage in some speculation here and say, yeah, it was the fucking Taliban. This is Afghanistan. Terror is a retail business there and the Taliban is like Target. And like Target shoppers we’re just blowing all our money on fake shit we don’t need. Like a civilized Afghanistan. Or this:

“Hamidi was attacked in some quarters over the Aino Minna development, a somewhat surreal US-style suburb on the edge of Kandahar City. In part developed by Mahmoud Karzai, one of the Afghan president’s controversial brothers, the scheme has been criticised for being built on land once owned by the ministry of defence that was sold cheaply after intense lobbying, some from Hamidi.”

Sure, we could turn that place around. In like 50 years. We would more or less have to kill every adult there and raise all the children ourselves. I don’t think that building a fucking suburb is going to drag an entire country kicking and screaming into the 21st Century. Hell, man, I grew up in the suburbs and if someone tried to build one where I live now I’d blow myself up too. See? We’re all not so different after all.

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