28
Jul
11

APPARENTLY WE’VE HAD THE POWER ALL ALONG

It’s looking like Mr. Boehn will have just enough votes to pass a debt-reduction package that will most likely be defeated in the senate. And, at any rate, most likely vetoed by The President. So why are they doing it? The same reason a dog licks itself. Because they can. Hell, man, I would.

My understanding/interest in financial issues aside, I do like to read the economic news. You don’t have to be good at math to understand a lot of what is going on. Today I read this column by Jack M. Balkin on CNN in which he offers an interesting idea for a way to pay our bills:

“Are there other ways for the president to raise money besides borrowing?

Sovereign governments such as the United States can print new money. However, there’s a statutory limit to the amount of paper currency that can be in circulation at any one time.

Ironically, there’s no similar limit on the amount of coinage. A little-known statute gives the secretary of the Treasury the authority to issue platinum coins in any denomination. So some commentators have suggested that the Treasury create two $1 trillion coins, deposit them in its account in the Federal Reserve and write checks on the proceeds.”

Why in the hell haven’t we done this already? Just make more money. It’s ingenious. If it’s that easy then why can’t I just make more money for myself? I mean, yeah, I know that would violate all kinds of laws and land me in jail. It was more of a rhetorical question.

Of course when there’s too much of it, it becomes worthless like porn. Well, okay, maybe not like porn. Smut will always have value. And perhaps in the future it will be like currency. In which case I will be obscenely wealthy in every possible sense of the phrase.

“The “jumbo coin” and “exploding option” strategies work because modern central banks don’t have to print bills or float debt to create new money; they just add money to their customers’ checking accounts.”

I’m of the view that anything “jumbo” or “exploding” should be made in reference to an order of Jalapeno Poppers or my penis and not economics. And when you say “Jumbo Coin” I picture that giant penny in the Batcave from Harvey-Two Face. And why won’t my bank just put more money in my account? I’m a nice guy.

And in case you’re wondering the picture and the headline are both references to MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE. In that storyline there was a weapon called THE POWER SWORD which came in two halves. When put together they made everything just a little bit homoerotic. Anyone who grew up in the 1980’s probably had He-Man guys or had their Barbie Dolls victimized by them. Or possibly even resulted in moving to West Hollywood later in life.

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