I realized today that I haven’t written about Syria yet. Then I realized that I haven’t paid my Visa bill in like six months. After that I realized that there is something really wrong with a grown man who completely loses his train of thought every time a 19-year-old college student walks past his living room window. And given my proximity to a major state university it’s really no mystery why I don’t get a fucking thing done during the day.

Bashar al Assad, Il Duce of Syria, has found himself in the same boat as many other current and former Middle Eastern autocrats: his people are tired of his crap and they’re out in force to show it. Assad has responded over the last few months by unleashing his military, tanks and all, on his own people. But, apparently, he didn’t mean to.

“Syrian President Bashar al Assad has admitted to “mistakes” by security forces while tackling largescale unrest. In a meeting with a high-level delegation from India, Brazil and South Africa, Assad said efforts were underway to prevent their recurrence.

While the western countries are baying for blood in Syria, developing countries like India, Brazil, South Africa as well as P-5 members like China have been trying to prevent an international intervention in this West Asian country, and make another Libya out of it.

The Syrian government pointed out to the delegation that of the 1,600-odd people killed, over 500 were security personnel who confronted armed opposition. Western reports said some security forces were killed by the authorities as they tried to defect. “We have got to give the state the opportunity to act,” said an Indian diplomat. Indians say the situation is far more complex than just an over-armed authority killing innocent unarmed civilians. “ – THE TIMES OF INDIA

No, dude, a mistake is banking with B of A or marrying a Christian Scientist. You don’t accidentally kill over a 1,000 people. You kind of have to try to do something like that. And yeah, I’m sure some of those killed were your own fucking troops. I love my country as much as anyone but the day they roll tanks down my street all bets are off.

What’s more is that when your country is facing “large-scale unrest” it’s probably a sign that you’re doing something wrong. And, I’m going to just go right ahead and disagree with the Indian diplomat quoted in this story and say that the last goddamn thing we should do is give the Assad regime more time to act. That’s like diagnosing someone with a terminal illness but taking a firm stance against any medical treatment so that nature has time to act. Which, incidentally, is why marrying a Christian Scientist would be a mistake. And going with Bank of America is like having sex with a Cylon.

The fact is that Assad is a dinosaur. He’s a relic of a long-gone age that died with strongmen like Gamal Nasser and his own father, Hafez al Assad. These guys run their countries like it’s the fucking 1950’s. But today’s technology and, more importantly social media like Twitter and Facebook, are running circles around them. And of course they’ve tried everything they can to ban and censor these outlets. Thankfully, we here in the West are much more free-thinking and would never consider such tactics.

“The (British) government is exploring whether to turn off social networks or stop people texting during times of social unrest.” – BBC NEWS

And I know I had a really clever finishing line here. But, that co-ed with the yoga pants just strolled by on her way to class and, frankly, I don’t even know what the fuck I’m talking about anymore.


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