16
Aug
11

MARK SANFORD IS READY FOR YOU TO FORGIVE HIM NOW

It has long been said that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. In other words, chicks only want to nail you if you can tell other people what to do. Case in point: Former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. And judging from what he looks like, power is the only aphrodisiac available to this horse-faced weirdo. Without elected office my guess is his only path to sex with a woman would involve a knife and a ski mask.

“Former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford said he’s gone through reflection since admitting to an extramarital affair that derailed his rising political career two years ago.

“If you went through the level of destruction that I brought about in my own life, you have this yearning to construct something,” Sanford said in an interview preceding an appearance on CNN’s “Piers Morgan Tonight” Monday. “We get our priorities mixed up in life. Fundamentally, life is about relationships –- relationship to God and relationship to those around us.”

After disappearing on a trip unknown to his staff or family in the summer of 2009, the Republican governor admitted he had gone to Argentina to see his mistress — a woman he called his “soul mate.” – CNN

Of course he went through “reflection”. After I monumentally fuck up I always reflect, usually on how to not get caught next time. Of course I’m not the governor of a state. I’m just a guy with a blog. The extent of my responsibilities include making sure I spell “Satyriasis” correctly or not accidentally including a link to some Asian porn site in one of my posts.

That’s not to say that I think elected officials should be held to a higher personal standard than the rest of us. As Bill Clinton demonstrated you can be a sexual retard in your private life without fucking up your job responsibilities. Clinton never went AWOL to another country to fuck an Argentine woman while he was supposed to be on the job. He nailed an intern in his office like any responsible executive.

What’s really sad is that Sanford will probably have a lucrative future in being on television. These fucking guys always end up on TV making more money than they ever dreamed of making in elected office. Just ask Elliot “Wear the Pink One” Spitzer or Dick “Here’s my Dick” Morris. And, mark my word, Anthony Weiner will have his own segment on CNN or MSNBC before the next election cycle is over. Apparently betraying the public trust for some ass qualifies you to give political analysis. Shit, man, that’s why I do it.

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2 Responses to “MARK SANFORD IS READY FOR YOU TO FORGIVE HIM NOW”


  1. March 9, 2013 at 10:27 AM

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