I’m making a turkey today. Like serious Thanksgiving style with stuffing and gravy. Why? Shit, man, I don’t know. It’s this kind of bobbing and weaving that makes me so hard to pin down. Or it could be the Champagne I’ve been swigging like a French nobleman since 8:00 this morning. Hey, it’s Wednesday. The hump day.

Right now, say “2012” to anyone and they’ll think you mean the Presidential election. But, that’s not the only thing happening next year. There are a good number of people convinced that the world will end. Namely the Mayans and people who are really into the LEFT BEHIND series. And people in the Middle East.

“A Palestinian man has wounded seven Israelis near a Tel Aviv nightclub, ramming a car into a checkpoint and stabbing five people, police say.

The man drove a stolen taxi into the checkpoint, injuring two guards. He stabbed two other guards, two passers-by, and the taxi driver.

Attacks by Palestinians in Israeli cities have been rare in recent years.” – BBC NEWS

I think it’s in the Book of Harpsichords that the Bible predicts the End of Days will be preceded by rampaging Vehicular Kamikaze Knife Masters. I don’t know. I only read the Bible once and that was like 20 years ago. And yet I’ve read and reread AMERICAN PSYCHO like 30 times since it came out.

Many would say it’s no surprise that World War III would start in the most sociologically retarded region on the planet. It’s the same way you know that one day your new car is going to be wrecked by one of your kids. And chances are you already know which kid.

“The Israeli military is training settler security squads, and will arm them with tear gas and stun grenades, ahead of the Palestinian statehood vote at the United Nations, Haaretz reported.

The settler training is part of the IDF’s preparations for Operation Summer Seed to have the military ready for possible Palestinian mass protest and violence, according to Haaretz, citing a document obtained by the daily newspaper.

The document showed that the IDF has determined a red line for each Jewish settlement, which when crossed indicates when soldiers will be ordered to shoot at the feet of Palestinian protesters, Haaretz reported.“ – JTA

That should work. I don’t see anything potentially dangerous about teaching weekend warriors in the army of god to shoot at people’s feet. I’m sure the people in these areas are sensible types. And god never wants people to hurt each other. It’ll be fine.

So right now I would say that the Middle East is the early frontrunner for ultimately being responsible for World War III. In the coming weeks I’ll be looking at some of the other suspects. I’ll also be looking at monkeys having sex and episodes of GOLDEN GIRLS and keeping myself just on the edge of the greatest orgasm ever.


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