A conservative friend of mine (yeah, I have them) and I were talking over the weekend about Labor Day. He said that he didn’t have any objections to a federal holiday celebrating the average worker, but he felt it was unfair that business owners don’t have a holiday of their own.

It took about six napkins to wipe the beer off my face and shirt after it sprayed from my nose when I laughed so hard that my prostate almost ruptured. My friend furled his brow and asked me why I was laughing.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I replied. “Every day is Business Owner Day.”

“President Barack Obama addresses a union group in the heart of the U.S. auto industry today in a prelude to a nationally televised speech later this week laying out his proposals to reignite the economy and boost employment.

Marking the U.S. Labor Day holiday, Obama is set to speak this afternoon to a core Democratic Party constituency at a Metro Detroit Central Labor Council rally, where he’ll be joined by U.S. Labor Secretary Hilda Solis and AFL-CIO president Richard Trumka.

Obama will unveil his new jobs agenda in the speech to Congress as unemployment remains at 9.1 percent more than two years after the recession’s official end. The sluggish recovery from the worst recession since the Great Depression will be central issues as Obama runs for re-election next year. Republicans, who control the U.S. House, have signaled resistance to new spending that would add to the federal budget deficit.” – BLOOMBERG

Well nothing pays the bills or puts food on the table like a good speech. That’s for sure. And of course when it comes to our elected leaders as a whole nothing pays my health insurance premium or buys new clothes for my kids like sticking to your hollow political rhetoric. I mean I’m sure when my conservative friend is out of work and struggling to feed his family he’ll still stand proud knowing that the Tea Party stuck to its ideals and didn’t raise taxes on the rich.

Every day in America belongs to the wealthy. Every day is Corporation Day or Wall Street Day. Every day belongs to WalMart and Microsoft, Bank of America and Citigroup. Of course their holiday (which is every day) is celebrated by having unparalleled access to the levers of power and hoarding like 90% of the wealth. Our one day is more symbolic and is usually celebrated with cheap American beer and burgers. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Hell, man, that’s what I’m doing today.

Only a business owner can get their member of Congress on the phone. The guy who picks up your garbage or rings you up at Target would probably be arrested for even trying. Granted, owning a business doesn’t mean you’re rich or influential. And I will confess that I really don’t include the local skateboard shop or diner in the same category as, say, Halliburton or a Vegas Casino. Small business owners often work just as hard as their employees and I would actually argue that Labor Day is as much their holiday as it is ours.

Of course I think we’re upset at the wrong people for the wrong reasons. The mistake we’re making is assuming that anyone we send to political office gives a shit about us at all. As I have said more times than I care to remember, the biggest mistake of all is letting the wealthy make decisions for the rest of us. Our leaders are all wealthy which means they’re not one of us. We might as well elect monkeys and dolphins to office. In fact monkeys and dolphins have more in common with human beings than rich people do.


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