21
Sep
11

MATH WARFARE, RELOADED

I’ve been waiting a long, long time for this. Not as long as an Isabella Rossellini sex tape or Cannabis suppositories. But, ever since I started this site I’ve waited for the day that someone would send me an angry rebuttal to one of my posts. And yesterday, my post MATH WARFARE! was finally the bright and shiny lure that drew a fierce right wing trout from the depths of Lake Idiot.

Granted, most of this guy’s email consisted of obscenities, overuse of the words “faggot” and “cocksucker” and more than a few comments about my mother. And I’m not going to get him all excited and happy by posting the entire thing here. I am, however, going to respond to some of his more coherent arguments (such as they were) and thank him for giving me a good chuckle. Then I’m gonna’ jerk off while on the phone with my internet provider because I’m just that comfortable with myself.

 

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT TO DO WITH THEIR MONEY??”

Good point. I’m not telling people what to do with their money. I’m telling the rich they have to pay more taxes. They happen to wield almost totalitarian power over the rest of us. They decide our wages. They decide the cost of our standard of living. They own our media. They run our government. So, yeah, I don’t feel bad about exercising some power over them and drawing more blood. Everything in life comes with a price and that’s the price they pay for all that control over the rest of us. Oh yeah, and fuck them too.

 

“Don’t you fucking dare rase my taxes!”

I support raising taxes on the wealthy. Not you. You’re not wealthy or you would  a) probably know how to spell “raise” and  b) probably not even bother reading my blog. You’re a wannabe. But, like most of us, you’re also a never-will-be. Keep on sticking your tongue up the asses of the top ten percent and see how far that gets you. But, hey, don’t take my word for it. Write me back a year from now, or even ten years from now, and tell me how that whole social hierarchy thing is working out for you.

 

“You are a fucking SOCIALIST!”

Dude, I don’t know if you’ve read any other posts on this site but that’s kind of obvious. I salute your impeccable detective skills. Yes, I believe in a certain amount of socialism. I also prefer limited capitalism to complete anarchy. Maybe when you were in college you should have taken a break from math and economics and studied some rudimentary political science and world history. Every society ever created has had a socialist element to it. Even ours. Think about that the next time you have to call 911 or sue someone. Or, you know, finish getting that education.

 

“If you don’t like it here you should go back to RUSSIA.”

I’m from Illinois, not Russia. I’ve never been to Russia so there’s little chance of me going back there. Also, you’re clearly referring to Russia’s former role as the dominant force in the Soviet Union. That ended over 20 years ago. Since then they have been a predominantly capitalist country like us. Again, maybe you should put down the Wall Street Journal and pick up a fucking history book. And what’s with the caps? You’re not Al Pacino.

 

“Pussy fuckers like you are why real Americans own guns. I hope someone who fought for this country hunts you down and blows your faggot ass away.”

My proclivity for fucking pussy aside (seriously, dude, what exactly do you stick your dick into?) I also own a gun. And knives. And I train in hand-to-hand combat. What, you thought because I believe in social equality and worker empowerment that I’m some kind of tie-dye wearing hippie throwing up peace signs? Think again. Or try thinking to begin with. And, like most people on your end of the political spectrum, my guess is that you’ve never served a day in the military in your life. Which is why you’re hoping that “someone who fought for this country” comes and tries to harm me instead of doing it yourself. My advice is to return your fat ass to your armchair, open up another bag of Doritos and watch some more Spike TV. Maybe help your wife into her plus size clothing in time for the church bake sale.

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2 Responses to “MATH WARFARE, RELOADED”


  1. September 22, 2011 at 9:20 AM

    Accidentally stumbled upon this blog, and I’m liking it, and actually laughed out loud at the your note that you “… drew a fierce right wing trout from the depths of Lake Idiot.”

    Excellent rejoinders; well written all. One of my favorite people these days is Elizabeth Warren. Her take on the apocryphal culture wars meme is brilliant, simple, and puts the much needed final nail in this zombie narrative’s coffin: http://groobiecat.blogspot.com/2011/09/if-there-is-god-this-woman-will-be-next.html

    As for the ALL-CAPS crowd, LOL. Seems that these days it’s the digital yelling/finger stabbing equivalent of trying to make up for lack of basic logic and polemic skills. And yeah, violence is the last recourse of the incompetent, per usual, and good onya for being prepared. Unfortunately, this cultural cold war is just really getting underway and shows no signs of abating–and one never knows when the war might turn hot.

    That said, at some point, we’re actually going to have to work with these people. Not sure when, but it’s likely at some point. The question is, how to take back the dominant narrative (think “What happened to Kansas”) from the right. At some point, the word “taxes” (which Reagan not only uttered but applied when necessary) became violently conflated with “evil,” and an unfettered, unregulated marketplace (don’t these people remember what happened in 2008??) became the altar of all that is holy and good. Dems need to somehow regain the narrative. Sadly, we’re now seeing the fruits of a political culture that has been watered by the FOX water canon of bullshit that a) reviles/looks down on basic logic and analytical skills; b) ignores facts as inconvenient; c) puts jingoistic reactionary behavior ahead of civil discourse; and d) is growing among many in this country who have few tools to handle contrary information. It’s as if it’s the largest case of cognitive dissonance since the rise of the Third Reich.

    At any rate, you now have a new follower. Cheers.

    – Groobiecat

    Thinking about it more, dude, why be hatin’ on the proud and delicious trout? Perhaps the invasive Snakehead would be more apt…


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