26
Sep
11

THERE’S A BETTER WAY TO DO THIS

Let me start out by saying that I have no love for Wall Street. Fuck, to be honest I have almost no understanding of what Wall Street actually does. They seem to have everyone’s money and, for some reason, won’t give it back. That’s not cool, man.

For the last few weeks protesters have been attempting to “occupy” Wall Street. My guess is this might come as news to some of you especially if you live in America. Why? American media has given it almost no coverage. But, outside the Corporate American Media Retardation Apparatus (CAMRA- like that? I made it up myself) you can get just about all the coverage you need.

“The anti-capitalist protests that have become something of a fixture in Lower Manhattan over the past week or so have taken on a distinctly ugly turn.

Police have been accused of heavy-handed tactics after making 80 arrests on Saturday when protesters marched uptown from their makeshift camp in a private park in the financial district.

Footage has emerged on YouTube showing stocky police officers coralling a group of young female protesters and then spraying them with mace, despite being surrounded and apparently posing threats of only the verbal kind.

The media here in New York has been accused of being slow off the mark to cover the demonstrations, which have been going on for more than a week.” – THE GUARDIAN

I could not support the cause championed by the protestors more. I get it. I really do. Anyone who has read this site will know of my utter contempt for corporations, the financial sector and math in general. You’ll also have noticed my razor sharp wit and Romanesque sexual appetite. But here’s my problem with what’s going on: The 60’s are over, dudes, and you’re just pissing people off. Street protests are impractical and, in this day and age, obsolete.

Unless you’re going to march on Wall Street with like a million people you’re just annoying everyone. Including people who might agree with you. A good example would be the teacher’s union marches in Los Angeles when I lived there. I sided with the teachers, personally, but when you add 45 minutes to my already obnoxious commute you make an enemy out of me.

What to do then? Here are three suggestions. And these are not just ideas out of my ass. I regularly engage in them and can give them my own personal Stamp Of Disobedient Operations against Mainstream Institutions and Entities. SODOMIE, for short.

 

TAKE ALL YOUR MONEY OUT OF THE BANK

The easiest, and still most effective, way to resist is to stop giving these people your money. That starts at the financial rapehouse, AKA “your bank”. Like any virus or parasitic organism, once you deprive it of sustenance it becomes weak and dies. Then, we might actually be in a better position to dictate some terms of our own.

 

USE WHAT LITTLE FREE TIME YOU HAVE TO WASTE AS MUCH OF THEIRS AS POSSIBLE

Time is money in that world. The more of it you waste, the more you can end up costing them. Corporate phone directories can be the source of hours of fun. Fuck “customer service”. The point of “customer service” is to provide a barrier between you and the people who have your money. Instead, a little digging online will unearth direct dial phone numbers for the corporate offices of just about any business entity. When my kids are napping I like to hop on Skype and get myself transferred from office to office at Target or Bank of America headquarters. It’s amazing because the more you can sound like you know what you’re talking about the longer you can keep various executives and their secretaries on the phone.

A similar tactic is to bill corporations for everything you can think of. Your groceries. Your internet usage. Time spent masturbating. You’re not going to see a cent but that’s not the point. Any bill for services rendered has to be reviewed by someone. And the more complex and official sounding you can make the bill the longer it takes to figure out that you’re just fucking with them.

 

STOP BUYING SHIT YOU DON’T NEED

You want to change the economic landscape? Stop buying shit. Grow your own food. Create your own electricity. Start walking or riding a bike instead of driving. Does this sound impractical? Unrealistic? People did it for thousands of years without needing grocery stores or SUV’s. We’ve gotten lazy and distracted. What’s more, we’ve allowed corporate America to convince us that we “need” most of the shit they’re selling.

Just imagine if a few million people started doing these things every day instead of marching around Central Park banging drums and chanting 40-year-old slogans. Real resistance begins at home. Effective resistance need never leave there.

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1 Response to “THERE’S A BETTER WAY TO DO THIS”


  1. September 26, 2011 at 10:55 AM

    Good post. Although, I think both are good to do. Active civil disobedience may not get a lot of coverage initially, but if it’s continued, it eventually will. Right now, there’s not a lot of focus on this protest, really; pretty chaotic. Still, I think sending videos like this viral–what I loosely term “online activism” (which really, blogs like ours represent)–is an inherently useful thing. Raising awareness is a good idea (and while there are lots of hippies down in southern Manhattan, not all of ’em qualify as hippified, I wouldn’t think…). This kind of civil action is what people are going to probably have to wind up doing in, say, Southern Vermont, in order to close the nuclear power plant here. Seems that Barack Obama and his NRC appointees think that power plants built around the same time (and about to the same specs) as exploding Pintos deserve to be relicensed. I don’t think so, and I (too old to be a hippy, even if I wanted to be) will be down there actively protesting. But I digress. Back to Wall Street:

    I’m wondering if anyone’s thought about the irony of people getting arrested for protesting on Wall Street, whilst not a single Wall Street banker (or any other banker or their enablers in DC, for that matter) has been arrested for helping to send our economy into a slow, ongoing depressive spiral.

    Seems ironic. Then again, Americans aren’t too big on “the whole irony thing,” as Bush might have said.


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