29
Sep
11

MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD IS HERE TO RESCUE YOU

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has drawn the ire of Al Qaeda after going before the United Nations earlier this week and suggesting that 9/11 was an American conspiracy. Why is he Darth Vader? He’s not. He’s the dude standing behind him. I’m running out of characters from the original STAR WARS for these pieces but I’m not so desperate that I would waste Darth Vader on that specimen. Considering that Jimmy Carter was Obi Wan Kenobi I think the big boy in black up there should be someone who has been around for a while.

Carter and Ahmadinejad share no personal history together that I’m aware of. But, Carter is recognized as presiding over an era of which Ahmadinejad is also very much a product: The 1970’s. Before the dark times. Before The Empire. And ever since then Carter has just become a crazy old man living out beyond the Dune Sea of sanity and reason. Ahmadinejad was seduced by the dark side and turned to evil. And I really don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about anymore.

“Al-Qaida has sent a message to the Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad asking him to stop spreading conspiracy theories about the 9/11 attacks.

Iranian media on Wednesday reported quotes from what appears to be an article published in the latest issue of the al-Qaida English language magazine, Inspire, which described Ahmadinejad’s remarks over the 11 September attacks as “ridiculous”.

In his UN general assembly speech last week, Ahmadinejad cast doubt over the official version of the 2001 attacks…

…Ahmadinejad said in New York that the “mysterious September 11 incident” had been used as a pretext to attack Afghanistan and Iraq. He had also previously expressed scepticism at the US version of events.

“By using their imperialistic media network which is under the influence of colonialism, they threaten anyone who questions the Holocaust and the September 11 event with sanctions and military actions,” said Ahmadinejad.” – THE GUARDIAN

I always find Ahmadinejad’s insane rantings to be greatly entertaining. Not so much the idea of him getting his hands on a nuclear weapon though. Or doing something really crazy like this. And questioning something like the Holocaust or September 11th doesn’t exactly endear you to most people in the Manhattan area.

Then again it’s kind of funny that Al Qaeda would take it so personally. It’s never good for a terrorist organization to look insecure. And exactly how do terrorists terrorize each other? And if one gets struck down will it become more powerful than you or I can possibly imagine?

I think his fifteen minutes are up and he’s going to disappear like Roberto Benigni. I’m already looking ahead to who is going to replace him once he’s gone. Of course, I am also looking ahead to a time when money is no longer necessary and vaginas grow on trees. So, you know, maybe I’m not the best person to ask.

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