09
Nov
11

WELL, THAT’S ALL CLEARED UP NOW

I’ve been thinking about aliens in some capacity my entire life. When you were a teenager and all you had was sex on your mind I was thinking about aliens. When you were in your 20’s and all you had was sex and partying on your mind I was thinking about aliens. When you were in your 30’s and you still thought about sex but now you had a mortgage and kids and a job to think about, I was actually starting to think about sex. Like, constantly. What can I say? I’m a late bloomer.

The United States government doesn’t think about aliens. At least that’s the story it’s sticking to. As for sex, well, I’m sure it has a healthy appetite for that too.

“The US government has formally denied that it has any knowledge of contact with extraterrestrial life.

The announcement came as a response to submissions to the We The People website, which promises to address any petition that gains 5,000 signatories.

Two petitions called for disclosure of government information on ETs and an acknowledgement of any contact.

The White House responded that there was “no evidence that any life exists outside our planet”…

…”The US government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race,” wrote space policy expert Phil Larson of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy.

“In addition, there is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public’s eye.” – BBC NEWS

Forgive me for being a downer (or don’t, I’m a downer and I don’t care) but what the hell is the point of all this? The government is not going to admit to something it has supposedly kept secret for decades. That’s why they’re called secrets. It probably doesn’t matter how many idiots signed a goddamn petition. In fact, I would be kind of disappointed in my government if it just gave up everything because some local chapter of the FRIENDS OF STAR TREK put their names on a website.

Then again, I don’t put a lot of stock in the government’s ability to recognize evidence. This is the same group of people who said there was no evidence of any radiation in Japan after the tsunami there. They said there was no evidence India or Pakistan were developing nuclear weapons. They said there was no evidence the Berlin Wall was about to come down. They said there was no credible evidence of an impending financial crisis or a major terrorist attack. They even said there was no evidence that I’m the only man capable of bringing Hillary Clinton to orgasm.

Of course our government is primarily made up of lawyers and economists with the occasional wealthy businessman thrown in. What the fuck do these people know about talking to aliens? The visitors probably showed up, got one earful of what some tool from Harvard Law or Yale Business School had to say and took off. Hell, if I crossed the vastness of space to come to this solar system I’d rather visit Saturn or impregnate some high school girls in Alabama. Fuck talking to Tim Geithner or Eric Holder all day.

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1 Response to “WELL, THAT’S ALL CLEARED UP NOW”


  1. November 9, 2011 at 9:35 AM

    That Govt crap that can out the other day enraged me so much that for the first time ever, I learned how to and started my own blog on the subject. Come join the new hunt for ET. There already here.


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