28
Nov
11

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

I’ve been on the road the last few days for Thanksgiving and all. And in that time I have neglected this site for which I apologize. I’m going to be home for Christmas this year so I’ll probably be posting right up until another viewing of IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE causes me to take out a gun and start screaming at Jimmy Stewart. Yeah, you wanna’ die, George Bailey? Don’t jump off a bridge like a pansy. Take your whole head off with my .357. Come on and get your wings, asshole.

At any rate a few days is an eternity when it comes to world events. As I found out yesterday when I sat down and looked at the news for the first time in about 8 days. Which, incidentally, was the first time I’ve been able to rub one out in about as long. And let me tell you, friends, the best gifts in life really are the ones you give yourself.

 

WE KILLED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE IN PAKISTAN

Like seriously, a lot of people. And they were all Pakistani soldiers which is kind of awkward being that it happened inside Pakistan.

“The night-time attack took place at the Salala checkpoint, about 1.5 miles (2.5 km) from the Afghan border, at around 02:00 on Saturday morning local time (21:00 GMT Friday).

The Pakistani army said helicopters and fighter aircraft hit two border posts, killing 24 people and leaving 13 injured. Local officials said the two posts were about 300m apart on a mountain top.

The incident looks set to deal a fresh blow to US-Pakistan relations, which had only just begun to recover following a unilateral US raid that killed Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan in May.” – BBC NEWS

I would have thought that after everything we’ve been through with these people we didn’t have many relations left with them. But I guess that’s pretty much academic now that we went and mowed down a bunch of their guys with jets and helicopters. Any relationship which can survive that is less of a relationship and more of a codependency nightmare. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Were it not for codependency I probably never would have been born.

 

NEWT GINGRICH IS A PLAYER ONCE MORE

After being McCain-ishly written off just a few months ago, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich has found himself tied with Mitt Romney for the Republican Presidential Nomination. Despite decades of political baggage and a number of high profile gaffes he seems to be gaining momentum going into the actual primaries which have thus far seen a revolving door freak show of frontrunners.

But, truth be told, I never counted Newton out. I think he’s the best shot they’re going to get and as I’ve said before he’s the only Republican in the race who could go toe-to-toe with Obama. Even though I think he’s going to end up being the GOP’s John Kerry. And speaking of Kerry…

 

THE DEFICIT “SUPER COMMITTEE” WENT NOWHERE

I didn’t have very high hopes for the budget super duper committee put together by President Obama and tasked with finding solutions to the political impasse stalling the legislative process. I liked it in theory I guess. But, much like owning a Playstation or watching those Jamaican pegging videos, what seems awesome in theory can very much suck when actually attempted.

As expected the committee was forced to admit failure last week when its deadline for a deal passed. So what did we learn from this exactly? I don’t know. I stopped paying attention early on. This was always just absurd political theater. John Kerry, Pat Toomey and the others all might as well have emerged from one tiny little car honking bicycle horns and doing pratfalls.

 

WE HAVEN’T LEARNED A FUCKING THING

According to the early numbers this year’s “Black Friday”, marking the first official day of the Christmas shopping season, was the most successful on record.

“Overall, Thanksgiving weekend sales soared 16.4 percent to $52.4 billion, the National Retail Federation, an industry trade group, said on Sunday.

The number of transactions at U.S. merchants jumped 17 percent on Black Friday, after 5 percent rises in the prior two years, according to data from MasterCard Inc’s (MA.N) network.

Discounts were the name of the game, and analysts cautioned that there could be a prolonged lull in sales until closer to Christmas.” – REUTERS

Yeah, there’s going to be a prolonged lull all right because nobody has any goddamn money or jobs or… numbers to begin with. And they’re buying shit from Walmart and Target which means a lot of people are getting a lot of crap for Christmas this year. And probably lead poisoning and reproductive problems later in life too. But hey, there’s money being made. I guess in the end that’s all that matters. I think Jesus said that.

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