12
Dec
11

BASHAR ASSAD IS READY FOR YOU TO LIKE HIM NOW

When I was in 4th grade we had to do a class essay about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I said I wanted to be a dictator. When my teacher asked why (after she took me down to the school psychologist’s office, so to be accurate they both asked me why) I replied that I didn’t want to have to ask permission for anything and I wanted to be able to silence all opposition to my ideas through terror and brutality as well as become a regional superpower with a disproportionate military capability for a country of my size.

Hey, if they didn’t want to hear the answer then they shouldn’t have asked the question. And, if I say so myself, I thought my excellent grammar and exceptional grasp of history and global politics at that age would have been welcomed in an educational environment. Instead I got a frowny-face sticker and a note to my parents suggesting they take me to a therapist.

When Syrian President Bashar Assad was a child I wonder if he wanted to be the same thing. Probably, considering that his father was a dictator too.

“Monday also saw the second day of the opposition’s “Strike for Dignity,” widely supported in protest strongholds around the country and which activists say security forces have tried to break by force and threats…

…Four people were reported killed on Monday by security forces in Homs province, where the government says it is fighting “armed terrorist gangs” controlled from abroad. The state news agency SANA said the army killed one rebel, wounded others and arrested a leader.

One person was killed and seven wounded in Idlib when they were fired on by security forces. Tanks fired on Sunni districts in Homs, where the strike held and voting was largely boycotted, residents said. A 14-year-old boy was killed by shrapnel.” – REUTERS

Hey, buttfuck, it was different when all your neighbors were dictatorial assholes like yourself. “Yes, I too had to machine gun entire neighborhoods and drive tanks over people. Do not worry, Bashar, you are amongst friends!” Maybe you haven’t noticed but everyone else like you in your neighborhood is either being shot to death or voluntarily leaving power to avoid said death shooting.

What baffles me is what exactly Assad hopes to gain by going this far to maintain power. I could murder a bunch of people and then beat the rap in court but I’m still going to live like a goddamn pariah. And more than ever people are going to have it in for me. Which means I’m probably going to have to kill more people just to defend myself. And when most of your time and resources are spent keeping an entire population from killing you, well, you’re really not much of a leader at that point. You’re pretty much just an asshole. And, just as an aside, your security forces are pretty inept if they need tanks to kill a fucking teenager. Just make fun of his acne and social isolation until he takes his own life. You know, like we do in America.

Assad himself is becoming his own worst enemy. A point which could not have been more clearly made when he sat down to babble and point at Barbara Walters last week.

“In his first interview with the US media since the uprising began in March, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad was clearly intent on persuading Washington that his regime’s reaction to the challenge was normal, and that it would survive all the pressures currently being mounted against it…

…The president admitted that “mistakes” had been made on the ground, but said this was a case of errors committed by individuals, not the result of state policies or orders from above.” – BBC NEWS

So, basically, you’re either a) a really bad dictator because nobody is following your orders or b) a coward who doesn’t have the eggs to admit he’ll do anything to stay in power. Either way you should go fuck yourself. Just sayin’.

As I blogged before on this topic, killing thousands of people doesn’t happen by mistake. I mean it does when a ship hits an iceberg or Chernobyl or something. But, soldiers don’t mistakenly mow people down with automatic weapons and drive tanks through their houses. Unless they’re all a bunch of retards. Which, in this case, is a distinct possibility.

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