I’m gone for a few days and the whole world goes nuts. Sort of. The world’s last Bond Villain, Kim Jong-Il, is dead. Ron Paul is now the Republican frontrunner. The Republican Party, somehow, just became the party of higher taxes. And I just found out that paying myself to have sex with myself is still considered prostitution and grounds for arrest. They say ignorance is no excuse before the law. I say, yeah actually, it is. You have any idea how many goddamn laws are passed every year? I would have to quit my job and watch C-Span full time just to keep up.

And then we have this specimen, Arizona Sheriff and 1930’s lynching enthusiast Joe Arpaio. Ever since Arizona’s controversial immigration law went into effect he’s basically decided that being a cop isn’t as much fun as being the guy who establishes the 4th Reich in every aging retirement community in his county.

“A judge will hear arguments Thursday in a lawsuit that alleges racial profiling in immigration patrols conducted under a man who called himself “America’s Toughest Sheriff,” a week after U.S. authorities accused his office of a wide range of civil rights violations.

The lawsuit against Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s office was filed by a handful of Latinos who say officers based some traffic stops on their race, had no reason to pull them over and made the stops so they could inquire about their immigration status.

It’s one of a mounting number of legal challenges against the office.

The U.S. Department of Justice last week said Arpaio’s office has a pattern of racially profiling Latinos, basing immigration enforcement on racially charged citizen complaints and punishing Hispanic jail inmates for speaking Spanish.” – MSNBC

Bigoted old white guys are actually kind of funny and cute when they’re not running a police force. I much more prefer them when they’re drunk at the annual VFW Fish Fry or screaming obscenities from their nursing home bathroom. And for a man all on the whole “white America” bandwagon he has a last name that makes him sound like a fucking Kamikaze pilot. Of course, like sex after marriage, it just gets worse:

“One lawsuit filed this week says employees violated a female inmate’s rights when they kept her shackled before and after her 2009 Caesarean section and ignored her pleas for help in Spanish.

Also this week, a man found unresponsive in a jail cell after fighting with deputies at a Phoenix jail over the weekend died after being taken off life support. Activists say the death raises more questions about practices under Arpaio.

On Thursday, U.S. District Judge Murray Snow will consider possible sanctions against the sheriff’s office in the lawsuit alleging racial profiling over its acknowledged destruction of some records of the patrols, along with a request by Arpaio’s lawyers to dismiss the case.”

This is all pretty bad although, admittedly, “fighting with deputies” is a stupid idea unless you’re Batman or something. And as much as I was of the opinion that my own wife needed shackles during her pregnancy my lawyer kept telling me it was a bad idea. From a legal perspective. Unless I was a cop in Arizona in which case I guess it goes with the job just like a badge, a gun and a sense of moral superiority to the people I police.

And not that it relates to this story but I often refer to myself as “America’s Toughest Masturbator”. I know, I’m very hard on my penis. But, in the end, I think we both understand that I’m tough because I care.



  1. December 23, 2011 at 9:12 AM

    This is where I always stop short in the idea that men, and only men, start wars and use tyranny and violence to further their aims. Margaret Thatcher, Golda Meir, Benazir Bhutto, Corazon Aquino all proved to be just as fast on the trigger as their male predecessors. And that’s just in modern times. And you can’t tell me that if we ever let Michele Bachmann or Sarah Palin anywhere near the levers of power they wouldn’t get us into another war or wars.

    And, of course, there are plenty of men who have furthered the cause of peace and justice like Ghandi and King. In the end, just because your leader is wearing a bra doesn’t mean she’s not sick, twisted, maniacal, narcissistic and downright evil. Power corrupts humans. Period.

  2. December 23, 2011 at 8:45 AM

    Nice one. Of course, the question I have is this: When’s the last time an old white guy (or any male of privilege) did anything terribly useful? Let’s face it: men fucked up the planet–and continue to do so with abandon. I never hear anyone say this, but it’s pretty simple: Who initiated every war? Men. Who started every genocide? Men. Who use rape as a weapon? Men men men.

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