04
Jan
12

RICK SANTORUM IS A PLAYER AT LAST

I would love to tell you all that I sat glued to my TV screen last night, breathlessly awaiting the results of the Iowa Republican Presidential caucus. But, unlike my boss or my doctor, I find lying to my readers incredibly difficult to do. I actually played Modern Warfare 3 for like three hours. Then I took a long hot bath and went to bed. When I got up this morning I rubbed one out and played some more Modern Warfare. Then I jumped online to check out the results.

And what do you know? Rick Santorum came within 8 votes of beating Mitt Romney for the top spot… in a caucus. Which isn’t an election. And really doesn’t mean anything. But, Rick has been like that kid at the back of the class who keeps eagerly raising hand because he’s so very sure he knows the answer. I guess it was only inevitable that someone finally called on him. Except that his answer was completely and utterly retarded.

“Videos posted on several websites show Santorum discussing programs such as Medicaid and food stamps, then saying: “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money. I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money.”

…Santorum’s spokesman did not immediately return telephone calls and emails Tuesday seeking comment…

…But Santorum addressed the comment during an interview Monday with CBS News, telling the network that he had seen the quotation but didn’t know the context of the statement.

“If you look at what I’ve been saying, I’ve been pretty clear about my concern for dependency in this country and concern for people not being more dependent on our government, whatever their race or ethnicity is,” Santorum said in the interview.” – THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE.

Yeah, I bet his spokesman didn’t return any phone calls. Whenever I shoot my mouth off and offend a shitload of people I don’t call anyone back either. I even go a step further and turn all the lights off in my house and pretend I’m not home.

And what fucking “context” is he talking about? The context in which he was trying woo a bunch of backwoods mongoloids and now has to pretend he didn’t really say what he said so he can actually survive the rest of the primary let alone win the nomination and stand a chance of getting elected President in a nation with a rapidly shrinking white majority?

That’s cool. I can totally relate. I remember one time I told the police that I was the one who drove his car through that hair salon and then hogtied all those fat women inside at knifepoint. Later, after they made a big deal about it and pressed “charges” I had to explain to the judge how they had completely taken my words out of context. And then I didn’t return her phone calls either. What can I say, Your Honor? Unless you’re my mother or incredibly hot I just have a hard time paying attention to you.

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