19
Jan
12

WHEN THE HUNTSMAN BECOMES THE HUNTED

I’m so far behind these days it’s not even funny. Well, admittedly, it is kind of funny. I laugh about it a lot actually. That is when I’m not coughing up a lung or praying for a swift death. This virus just won’t go away. My wife and kids are all better now but I’m still bedridden in a kind of reverse OMEGA MAN scenario.

I was truly sad to see that the lone voice of reason in the Republican primary finally called it quits. Jon Huntsman’s Presidential bid was always a gloriously futile gesture. You can’t run for office as a Republican and not be a raving wingnut and/or billionaire brat. Huntsman was neither. Which often made me wonder what the hell he was even doing in the Republican Party.

“Our campaign for the presidency ends, but our campaign for a (better) American continues,” Huntsman declared. “I believe it is now time for our party to unite around the candidate best equipped to defeat Barack Obama. Despite our differences and the space between us on some of the issues, I believe that candidate is Gov. Mitt Romney.” – CNN

It was sort of my impression that uniting in the traditional sense meant not having any differences. But, whatever. Romney will ultimately rule the party through fear and brutality like Moe did with the other Stooges. As with Tim Pawlenty I always felt that Huntsman was just too fundamentally decent a guy for this kind of thing.

I’m sure there was some kind of Greco-Mormon wrestling going on behind the scenes as well. My guess is that Romney had to come and beat the Brigham Young out of Huntsman like De Niro bashing that guy over the head in THE UNTOUCHABLES. In fact looking at that picture I get this image of Huntsman laying on the ground sobbing with his pants around his ankles while a naked Mitt lights a cigarette and mutters “Quit cryin’, you belong to me now.”

And one wonders if Huntsman wasn’t offered something in return for his endorsement like a cabinet post or a bunch of virgins. Or Mormon dollars. Or whatever. Money is pretty much all Romney has and is the only reason he’s gotten this far. Without it I think he’d be just another Max Headroom impersonator.

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1 Response to “WHEN THE HUNTSMAN BECOMES THE HUNTED”


  1. January 19, 2012 at 11:27 AM

    Nice. Two kinda awesome references–one from Charlton Heston’s best role ever (yes, including Moses and Planet of the Apes), and the other, well, from Max Headroom. Of course, Huntsman was a great republican candidate…*for 1992*. Today? Not so much. Today? It’s basically the party equivalent of apes flinging poo at one another and, more accurately, the American people. Who pretty much deserve, since they’ve embraced all manner of cultural excrescence and anti-intellectualism.

    Christ, those bastards behind 9/11 were more successful than they’d ever dreamed…


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