Happy belated Valentine’s Day. While I don’t really recognize Hallmark and Godiva’s completely fabricated holiday known as “Spend A Ton of Money to Get Laid Day”, it is nice to have at least one day during the year when I actually treat my wife like the amazing goddess she is. Sadly, the rest of the year I’m pretty much an asshole and she’s a saint for putting up with it. A saint I tell you.

At any rate, while I’m not a big believer in the idea that Armageddon is inevitable or somehow predetermined, I do think that we can all die this year if we really, really want to. And while that might sound strange at first one only has to take a look at the events of the last week to realize that some people in this world are pretty goddamned determined to end it.

“The loudest noise that Thongma Danoi had ever heard was followed 20 minutes later by the strangest sight: a dazed and bloodied Iranian carrying two wire-adorned devices through the usually sleepy Bangkok neighborhood.

“He was losing a lot of blood,” said Thongma, 68, who saw the Iranian man, later identified as Saeid Moradi, fleeing a rented house blown apart by a massive explosion on Tuesday. “People were shouting, ‘He’s got a bomb!’ I tried not to look at him.”

Minutes later, he heard another explosion, as 28-year-old Moradi reportedly threw a second bomb at a taxi that wouldn’t pick him up. His rampage ended nearby, outside a school, with a third explosion that ripped off one of the bomber’s legs and damaged the other so badly it had to be amputated.” – REUTERS

At the risk of sounding cruel (or just plain sick) I laughed my ass off when I read that. At least we and the Israelis maintain some level of professionalism when we’re wreaking havoc on our enemies. We don’t just grab the first Gump-like moron who happens by, give him an ANARCHIST’S COOKBOOK and a gift card to Home Depot and tell him to go nuts.

Or maybe we do. Fuck if I know. One thing which did catch my attention in the REUTERS story is this line which I have seen repeated throughout the media the last few weeks:

“While the emerging “shadow war” might escalate in the months to come, not everyone believes it heightens the risk of a wider conflict that the United States, Iran and Israel are keen to avoid.”

Running around throwing bombs at people and passing cars seems like the first sign someone wants to get into a fight. I don’t understand how this idea that Iran, Israel and America really don’t want a war became conventional wisdom. They all seem pretty fucking eager for a fight to me. Assassins, mad bombers and spy drones are not the hallmarks of peaceful intent. I should know. I tried to say I didn’t want a fight either after those “kids” and that “professional clown” picked me out of a lineup. But, my bruised knuckles and homemade shanks told a much different story.


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