18
Feb
12

OKAY…

I adore stupid people. Sure, they try my patience sometimes but they’re just so goddamn cute I want to eat them up with a spoon. My landlord, traffic court judges, the Mormons/Jehovah’s Witnesses/whatever who keep coming to my door- gosh I just love them all. Well, “love” is a pretty strong word. Then again so is “subpoena” or “fuck” and I use them all the time. Like, seriously, you’d be surprised how often I use those words. And not even in any kind of context either. I just scream them at random points throughout the day. If you were me you’d understand.

When stupid people are running a country, though, I tend to look upon them with a degree of caution. I have to. I mean I adore Chechen women who find me on the internet and want me to marry them but I don’t. Not anymore. Not since the fucking subpoena. Where am I going with this? Mexico. Specifically, Mexican President Felipe Calderon.

“President Felipe Calderon on Thursday unveiled a “No More Weapons!” billboard made with crushed firearms and placed near the U.S. border. He urged the United States to stop the flow of weapons into Mexico.

The billboard, which is in English and weighs 3 tons, was placed near an international bridge in Ciudad Juarez and can be seen from the United States.

Calderon said the billboard’s letters were made with weapons seized by local, state and federal authorities.

“Dear friends of the United States, Mexico needs your help to stop this terrible violence that we’re suffering,” Calderon said in English during the unveiling ceremony.

“The best way to do this is to stop the flow of automatic weapons into Mexico,” he added.” – MSNBC

Sure, ending the flow of American weapons into Mexico might help. So might the flow of American dollars used to buy drugs produced in Mexico. It also might help if we stopped giving the hopelessly corrupt and inept Mexican government domestic and military aid. Ending our national indifference to our Southern neighbors would help too. Hell, there’s all kinds of things we can do. But, we don’t do them. Why? This is America and when we do the right thing, well, it’s kind of like we lost somehow.

Yeah, we’ll stop sending them weapons. Of course they’ll just buy them from Russia, China or North Korea. Or from American companies that will find a way to sell them anyway. The problem isn’t the guns so much as it is the people in Mexico who really, really want them. And note to the Mexican Government: people who want to kill each other will find a way to do that. Guns, knives, poison, bashing heads in with rocks, running each other over with cars, AIDS, etc. But please don’t take my word for it. Seriously, keep doing the same fucking thing over and over again. You might get lucky one day and see something different happen.

Mexico likes to make the same argument about our anti-drug efforts. Calderon himself and his predecessor Vincente “I Love You George Bush and Want to Hold Your Penis While You Urinate” Fox both refused to hold Mexico responsible for the drugs crossing the border into America. That’s our fault, you see, for buying them. And you know what? They’re right. Which is why they’re wrong now.

In fact, talk to just about anyone from Mexico and they’ll tell you the same thing: Mexico is broken. That’s one of the main reasons so many Mexicans come to America. At least we have law and order here. There’s no roving bands of kidnapper/rapists. No car bombs. No major offensives between police and criminals that lay waste to entire towns. No severed heads being tossed onto the steps of city hall.

We also have electricity, running water and food which are also very popular with the whole human being crowd. Mexico, from what I can tell, has a shitload of oil and a ton of natural resources. Yet everyone is poor and has no teeth. I don’t know why. The world is just one big puzzle I guess. This lack of understanding on my part is probably why I’m not in charge. Thankfully, all of our leaders are at the absolute zenith of human intelligence. So, you know, I’m sure everything is going to be just fine.

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1 Response to “OKAY…”


  1. 1 Anonymous
    February 18, 2012 at 5:30 AM

    Magnus, you ask why there’s many poor people in Mexico, even though Mexico has natural resources. It’s because people are corrupt. The public officials, police men, authorities, the whole government. And there are poor people in Mexico, but don’t forget there’s poor people in the USA. After Katrina, the world saw the kinds of poor neighborhoods New Orleans has. Last thing, you’re absolutely right about the drugs. The US buys the drugs, so they have to come from somewhere, which is why Mexico is in such bad shape.


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