14
Mar
12

THE GOOD CAPITALIST

The big story today (or one of them) is the rather unique resignation letter by former Goldman Sachs executive Greg Smith which turned into an op-ed piece in THE NEW YORK TIMES. I’ve written a few resignation letters myself over the years and they’ve never gotten published. Although that’s probably because of all the profanity and various claims about my sexual prowess I always throw in. Fuck man, I just can’t help myself.

The entire thing is worth reading even though his reasons for leaving aren’t all that surprising: people who work at Goldman Sachs are complete and utter scumbags. And although everyone is cheering and applauding this guy as some kind of hero today I have to say that I have a different take. No shit, right? Basically, this is what he had to say:

“To put the problem in the simplest terms, the interests of the client continue to be sidelined in the way the firm operates and thinks about making money. Goldman Sachs is one of the world’s largest and most important investment banks and it is too integral to global finance to continue to act this way. The firm has veered so far from the place I joined right out of college that I can no longer in good conscience say that I identify with what it stands for.” – THE NEW YORK TIMES

Hey man, selling people shit they don’t need and fucking them over for profit is what capitalism is all about. It’s what they taught you to do in business school. Your ability to do this without batting an eyelash is why you chose this line of work to begin with. Either that or you possess a jaw-dropping level of naivety that would lead you to think that there is somehow morality or nobility in trying to make money by any means necessary.

You chose to get involved in the dark and endless alleyways of high finance. You chose to work on Wall Street. You chose making money as your first and, apparently, only priority in life. And while it’s nice to think that someone from the dark side finally saw the light I’m left wondering just how moral a person can be to get involved in this kind of thing to begin with.

I appreciate that you’ve worked very hard to succeed in life and, no, I don’t hold that against you. But, did you ever stop and wonder why working with money requires so much fucking schooling to begin with? Easy. The system is designed to suck the blood out of the rest of us without the rest of us knowing what the fuck is even going on. You chose to be a parasite on the scrotum of humanity. So don’t give me this “aw shucks” routine about how dirty and evil everyone else in your line of work really is. For me, your resignation letter was akin to Heinrich Himmler openly decrying the culture of hatred and murder that existed in the Nazi Party.

And where the hell was your moral compass four or five years ago when your firm and every other one like it was driving our country into the goddamn septic tank? Where was your disgust at how capitalism really works then? Simple. It didn’t exist. Your pockets were getting lined like everyone else’s at the expense of middle class America and you didn’t give a shit. But now that Goldman Sachs is damaged goods you’re bailing with, I’m guessing, a lot of fucking money in the bank. You want me to believe your moral platitudes? Empty your bank accounts and give it all to charity. Then go join a Buddhist commune somewhere and spend the rest of your life eating rice and contemplating your navel.

But that won’t happen. You’ll write a book about how awesome you are. Get paid to be a talking head on cable news. Probably rack up $30,000 an hour on the lecture circuit. You might even end up starting your own little blood sucking investment outfit. And hey, you know, that’s cool and all. Just don’t try and sell me your shit because I’m not buying it.

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1 Response to “THE GOOD CAPITALIST”


  1. March 14, 2012 at 5:09 PM

    Brilliant pic to go with the unusually short rant. But what else is there to say? Fuck that guy. Oh, and fuck *this* guy, too: http://groobiecat.blogspot.com/2012/03/wow-mitt-joins-war-on-women-women.html


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