27
Apr
12

THE FIENDISH PLOT OF MR. MIX

It’s a glorious day outside and the wife keeps hounding me to get the kids out of the house more often. I keep hounding her to watch this videotape I got once from an adult bookstore in West Hollywood. But, you know, “society” demands that we take care of our children first so it looks like I’m going to the fucking park today.

And speaking of shit that gets into the water and then fucks everything up (well, not really but I was hard up for a segue) the company responsible for the Deepwater Horizon disaster and oil spill two years ago is finally facing criminal charges. Two years, man. But go a week or two with expired tags on your car or drive by the mayor’s house late at night and honk the horn and blast the stereo and it’s swift fucking justice. Just sayin’.

A former engineer for BP PLC was arrested Tuesday and accused of destroying evidence relating to the 2010 Deepwater Horizon explosion and oil spill, the first criminal case to arise from the incident.

Federal prosecutors charged Kurt Mix of Katy, Texas, with two counts of obstruction of justice for deleting from his iPhone hundreds of text messages about the spill that he exchanged with a co-worker and a contractor, according to a criminal complaint unsealed Tuesday.

Mr. Mix didn’t enter a plea when he appeared in a federal courtroom here Tuesday wearing a purple dress shirt, khaki pants and handcuffs. A lawyer representing him at the proceeding, David Gerger, declined to comment after Tuesday’s hearing.” – WALL STREET JOURNAL

So, yeah, the obvious joke is the guy’s name. That Mr. Mix would choose to follow a career path into the oil racket was pretty funny. And sounding like a super villain won’t help him in court defending charges of complicity in the single worst oil spill ever. He might as well form some kind of diabolical trio along with Mr. Hostage and Mr. Larceny and try to ransom a stolen nuclear weapon.

The other, and perhaps not so funny, joke is that some fucking engineer is about to take the fall for this thing. If he’s the only guy to face charges then I give up. Well, I won’t give up. I’ll probably take a nap or something. Anyhow, I’m sure the good folks over at BP are just as eager to get to the bottom of this awful business as we are.

BP said it wouldn’t comment on the charges against Mr. Mix but that the company had clear policies requiring preservation of evidence in the case. The company said it was “cooperating with the Department of Justice and other official investigations into the Deepwater Horizon accident and oil spill.”

No shit they have “clear policies” about preserving evidence. I have very “clear policies” on driving the speed limit and declaring all of my income. And the less I say about that the better. I should also point out that the man in the photo is not Mr. Mix. He is, in fact, someone I know. He is not a super villain and, to the best of my knowledge, is not affiliated with BP in any way. He is, however, a goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus and an all around swell guy. And maybe next time he’ll think twice before he gets all cute in front of the camera.

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1 Response to “THE FIENDISH PLOT OF MR. MIX”


  1. April 27, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    Good point. Where are the fucking suits? Why aren’t they heading to jail? Oh, yeah: one system of justice for them, and one for everyone else. Sorry. My bad. I almost forgot…


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