I was watching the original TERMINATOR the other night and when it came time for my favorite scene I found myself thinking of old P-Vlad up there. Future guerilla Kyle Reese is trying to explain to a young and rather fertile Sarah Connor exactly what a “terminator” is and says “That terminator is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!” Why did that make me think of Putin? Fuck if I know. I’m not a goddamn psychiatrist.

Putin was once again inaugurated as Russia’s President on Monday, a post he held prior to his four years as Prime Minister. It has been a highly controversial election fraught with charges of corruption and fraud as well as spectacular protests against the 59-year-old former KGB agent. Interestingly, none of the Russian news sources I went to were even running it as a story yesterday except for the occasional photo piece. Nobody seemed particularly excited or concerned. Not even the Putinator himself as his HAL-9000-esque delivery demonstrated.

“Mr Putin took the presidential oath at the Grand Kremlin Palace, in a hall that was once the throne room of the Russian tsars.

In a short speech he said Russia was “entering a new phase of national development”.

“We will have to decide tasks of a new level, a new quality and scale. The coming years will be decisive for Russia’s fate for decades to come.”

He said Mr Medvedev had given a new impulse to modernisation, and the “transformation” of Russia must continue.

He also spoke of the need to strengthen Russian democracy and constitutional rights.

“I consider it to be the meaning of my whole life and my obligation to serve my fatherland and our people,” Mr Putin said.

“We will achieve our goals if we are a single, united people – if we hold our fatherland dear, strengthen Russian democracy, constitutional rights and freedoms.”

The Kremlin audience included former Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev, former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, the widow of Russia’s first president, Naina Yeltsin, and the four losing presidential candidates.”  – BBC NEWS

Forgetting for a moment how unnerving it is to hear words like “our fatherland” and “national development” and “decisive” used in the guy’s speech (and it is pretty fucking unnerving) this is a guy who was still ranked as the 4th most powerful man in the world when he wasn’t even the president of his country. Which makes you wonder why he’s even bothering. Then again, Russian politics has always seemed kind of strange to me.

I’m also a little confused as to why the four losing candidates had to show up for this shindig. It’s not like they were ever going to win anyway. Anyone who poses any actual threat to this guy ends up missing. And his relatives end up dead. Then their house burns down. Then their favorite TV show gets cancelled.

Of course P-Vliddy learned the political game of chess from one Boris Yeltsin who didn’t so much play chess as Spin the Bottle. Or was it Quarters? Vodka Pong? Not sure but it most likely involved him getting shitfaced and having people killed. Puss n’ Puts pretty much does his own killing which, I have to say, is pretty impressive. Am I being unfair to the guy? Maybe. But, hey man, when you take pictures like that you’re pretty much asking for it. And if I had a nickel for every time I’ve been forced to say that in court, well, let’s just say I’d have enough money to pay my legal bills.



  1. 1 Boris Balashov
    November 21, 2014 at 2:07 PM

    But Vlad trembles in fear of Chicago Jesus! LMFAO!

  2. May 9, 2012 at 5:13 AM

    Putin came up from the KGB, of course, an organization not well known for strengthening “Russian democracy, constitutional rights and freedoms,” so much as being known for disappearing journalists and disfiguring bothersome Ukrainian political leaders with dioxin. Oh, but he’s just a kidder, a sweet russian bear, as that picture clearly attests. And plus? George “Wordage is Confusatory” Bush looked Vlad the Impaler’s eye and “was able to get a sense of his soul” back in 2001. So, you know, all good, aheh heh heh.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: