I have to admit that I have always had a fondness for Hosni Mubarak. In the pantheon of aged, power-crazed old men he still managed to retain a kind of grandfatherly demeanor that made you feel like everything was going to be okay. It was like he would sit down with you and tell you a joke before having you tortured and killed.

“Former Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak has been moved from prison to an army hospital in the capital, Cairo, where he remains in a critical condition.

He is said to have had a series of strokes and to be on a life support machine. Reports that he was “clinically dead” were later denied. But there is no official statement.

The reports come amid protests over disputed presidential election results and new powers for the military.

Mubarak, 84, was ousted last year.

On 2 June, he was jailed for life for his role in the deaths of protesters.” – BBC NEWS

You’d think the people in Egypt would just be happy to have gotten rid of the guy. I mean, we are talking about a near-dictator who had some of the highest levels of Western support in the world and ruled for almost four decades. But no, they have to go and throw his aged dying ass in jail for the rest of his life. What’s left of it. And now how much do you think it’s costing them to keep this asshole alive?

I’m not saying ignore the dead protesters. Pragmatically speaking, though, you guys got off easy compared to other civilian uprisings against entrenched regimes. The guy could have really gotten all Tiananmen Square on you and gone down fighting. Instead he just went away. And yet they just can’t seem to leave the old man alone:

“Through the night, supporters and opponents gathered outside the Maadi military hospital, where the former president is being treated.

One woman, a supporter, was almost shaking with emotion and saying “I love him”.

Another supporter, a man, stood holding a poster of Mubarak. “He is my father. I love him more than my father. The Muslim Brotherhood are criminals. They have destroyed our country. Mubarak kept us in peace for 30 years,” he said.

A group of anti-Mubarak young men responded by shouting: “We are poor, and he did nothing for us. His family ate meat and we were starving.”

“I’m ready to hammer his grave with my shoe,” another protester added.”

Firstly, that’s pretty hardcore that you would hammer a guy’s grave with your fucking shoe. But, it’s not like Mubarak knows who you are let alone would give a damn that you’re assaulting his grave with footwear after he’s dead. As for the hysterical dingbat, well, if you really loved him you’d give him a kidney or kill in his name or something. I think it’s less likely that you actually love him and more probable that you’re a sad, lonely old drunk of a woman with a crush on Hosni Mubarak. Which is pretty weird and kind of disgusting but probably downright saintlike compared to some of the things I’m into.

Yeah, I know, that’s pretty cynical. Then again I’m not the one swearing vengeance upon a dying old man. If you ask me (and the more you don’t, the more I think you’re actually kind of a bad person) it’s pretty hard to be upbeat when the second highest recipient of American military aid in the world just elected a lunatic as their leader. But, hey, that’s cool. I just elected to get loaded at 7:00 in the morning.



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