This is actually the second part of a post I did over a year ago. And while it was never going to be part of a series I’m thinking that I might just do a whole slew of these. Hey, why not. Rich people love it when you talk about them.

Making fun of Ted Nugent is just too fucking easy. I like to challenge myself more than that on this site. Still, since the media seems to want to put everything he farts out of his mouth on the front page, I guess he’s fair game.

“The Detroit-born rocker and outspoken conservative activist writes in a new op-ed for The Washington Times of his fundamental fear of what he calls “Fedzilla,” or a government with a social safety net. Triggered by Chief Justice John Roberts voting to uphold President Obama’s Affordable Care Act — but calling the mandate to buy insurance a tax instead of a penalty — Nugent says, “Because our legislative, judicial and executive branches of government hold the 10th Amendment in contempt, I’m beginning to wonder if it would have been best had the South won the Civil War. Our Founding Fathers’ concept of limited government is dead.

A longtime critic of the president — he received a visit from the Secret Service after making allusions to beheading Obama and members of his administration while at an NRA convention in April — Nugent blasts Medicare, Social Security and Medicaid as parts of what he calls a full-on socialist state.” – MSNBC

It always tickles me a bit when wealthy people complain about the rest of us having some kind of social safety net. It amuses me, it doesn’t baffle me. Of course they don’t want us to have a safety net. They want us to be beholden to them and them alone. This whole “government of the people” thing is just a roadblock to true profit and power I guess. And it’s always a hoot when a backwoods retard like Nugent tries to sound educated.

But I think what’s really bothering Ted is his otherwise slow fade into obscurity. Something he’s been holding off as best he can for like three decades now. I think he’s mostly upset that nobody today really remembers why he’s famous. Or that his music sounds better when it’s performed by other musicians. I think he’s mad because stuff like this keeps happening to him:

“Nugent was also miffed that the Fort Knox military post scratched him from a concert where he was to perform with Styx and REO Speedwagon, citing a fiery speech he made at an NRA conference where he said of Obama and other elected Democrats, “We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November.”

The Secret Service investigated the remarks and determined Nugent was speaking metaphorically and that he hadn’t actually threatened physical violence.

“These military guys are my blood brothers,” Nugent said during the CBS interview Friday. “So then, when I hear that political correctness has somehow metastasized into the decision makers of the military, I was really let down that political correctness has any role at all in the military.” – THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER

No, Ted, it’s possible the military asked you not to perform because they are professional soldiers and you’re just an asshole in a camo hat. Perhaps they don’t really dig it when some moron who never served a day in his life calls them his “blood brothers”. Or perhaps they realized that nobody in the military today is old enough to remember the 5 minutes back in the 1970’s when you were actually famous. Maybe they don’t like it when some asshole at an NRA convention threatens their Commander-In-Chief (whether they voted for him or not). Maybe they just have good taste when it comes to music. Maybe they just don’t like you in general.

Maybe the fact that you were on the bill with Styx and REO Speedwagon means this whole rock musician thing has kind of run its course. Maybe you should take your money, and your opinions, and just go away. Go on now. Go shoot something and eat it with your teenage groupie wife. Do yourself a favor and fade away with some dignity while you still have a tiny, tiny bit of it left.

Wait, dignity? I can’t believe I just said that. That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all week.



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