17
Jul
12

NO SUNUNUS IS GOOD SUNUNEWS

I have to take breaks from the Presidential campaign and look for what else is going on in the world. It’s like pornography. I love it. I mean I really, really love it. But even I have to turn it off for a while and watch something else. Like THE VIEW or something. I need to go from total arousal to something completely nauseating and vile.

But like Michael Corleone, just when I think I’m out they just pull me right back in. And like Al Pacino once said “Oh, you wanna’ play? Okay. I’ll play with you.” And like my wife often says “No way am I wearing that. Not even for you.” Christ, now I’m lost. What was I talking about? Oh yeah…

“Mitt Romney’s national campaign co-chair John Sununu apologized Tuesday afternoon for saying he wished President Barack Obama would “learn how to be an American” earlier in the day…

…”I’m apologizing for using those words,” said Sununu. “I did say those words that were there and, frankly, I made a mistake.”

Sununu said his point was to criticize Obama for failing as an economic leader and creating a toxic environment for businesses.

“I was making the point that in America, entrepreneurs deserve credit and there is an American formula for creating jobs,” said Sununu. “I don’t apologize for the idea that this president has demonstrated that he does not understand how jobs are created in America. He thinks that jobs are created by giving grants to your cronies, to your bundlers and your contributors, like he did with Solyndra.

The earlier conference call with reporters came as the Republican presidential candidate continued to battle attacks from Democrats over Romney’s business career and tax returns. It also featured heated comments from a group of small business owners, one of whom likened Obama’s economic policies to “socialism.”

Sununu responded to the characterization in his CNN interview, saying he does not think Obama is a socialist but “he created a feeling among entrepreneurs that he’s not a capitalist.” – CNN

First of all, there’s nothing wrong with a little socialism. Remember that the next time you call the police or mail a letter or beg like a bitch for the government to bail out your business. The cry of “socialism” from the capitalist crowd is an empty one. They’re just scared that next year they might not be able to buy a Lamborghini and might have to settle for a Cadillac. Or whatever.

Secondly, entrepreneurs do deserve credit. They also deserve the freedom to plant the seed of a dream and let it grow. But, they do not deserve to have the rest of American society become hostage to their masturbatory financial fantasies. I have a family to raise and a life to lead. I don’t have time for your psychotic adherence to whatever the hell it is they taught you in business school. Or whatever your childlike understanding of democracy really is.

Thirdly, I happen to think that sometimes being “anti-business” is healthy if not essential. When you let business people make the rules we cease to be a democracy. We become a fiefdom in which normal people end up being slaves to a paycheck. Money becomes the ultimate authority, not the will of the people. Money can be destroyed. It can be spent. It can be used to corrupt. It can become irrelevant or necessary based on some abstract mathematical equation.

Lastly, but certainly not least, I used to buy pot from John Sununu’s son. On one occasion he was actually on the phone with his dad as we smoked a joint together. That may not be entirely relevant but then again, neither am I. And I’m not exactly convinced by this notion that Fatty Arbuckle up there somehow represents good old fashioned “aw shucks” Americana. Like everyone else on the Romney campaign he wears the red, white and blue like it’s some kind of shitty tie made in China. But, he shouldn’t be angry about what his kid did to pay the bills. Pot should be legal. The government should be making money off of it. Any asshole with a background in business should know that. Or even just an asshole.

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