My wife already did a double take on this one. She found it unbelievable that I hate this guy even more than George W Bush and the entire nation of Pakistan. But, I’m nothing if not complicated and mysterious. Which, to be honest, is just code for being incredibly weird and a little peculiar. Shit, I’ve pretty much put my therapist’s kids through college at this point. Nevertheless, coming in at number 7 on my most hated list is a man named Cesar Millan. Also known as THE DOG WHISPERER.

The name DOG WHISPERER of course derives from the Robert Redford film THE HORSE WHISPERER which I didn’t see. And won’t. That, in turn, was adapted from the book THE HORSE WHISPERER which I didn’t read because it’s, you know, completely asinine. I’m fairly convinced that people who talk to animals (and I mean really talk to them) are just one step away from fucking them. Look, I’m sorry you find forming human relationships so difficult. I’m glad you find some companionship in your pet. But, it’s kind of like masturbating. We all need it but if you go too far with it you end up committing a crime. In most states.

My hatred for this asshole is compounded a millionfold by the legions of socially retarded dog worshipping fuckheads he has spawned. Well, socially retarded until they feel the uncontrollable urge to walk up to you in a public place and tell you in no uncertain terms what you are doing wrong with your own dog. Because that’s normal.

“You shouldn’t let her do that. She’ll think she’s a person” is the most common one I hear. My response is usually some variation on this: She’s a fucking dog. I love her to death but I don’t give a flying fuck who or what she thinks she is. Just because she thinks she’s a person doesn’t mean I then have to treat her like one. Unless by some miracle of evolution she starts walking on two legs and speaking English she’s still going to eat dog food and lick her own ass. She’ll still eat the shit from my son’s dirty diaper and drink from the toilet. She’ll still wake up the entire house in the middle of the night barking because a raccoon or a mole farted three blocks away.

Perhaps the most egregious example came when I was living in Los Angeles (seriously, where else would this kind of thing be so epidemic?). A woman came up to me in a grocery store parking lot and proceeded to excoriate me for leaving my dog in the car while shopping. “Was I supposed to bring her in with me? I’m not fucking blind. She doesn’t belong in there.”

Her response was to say that I should have gotten a sitter. Because, you know, that’s gonna’ happen. I can’t afford a sitter for my CHILDREN. I’m not getting one for the fucking dog. To top it all off not 30 feet away was a car in which two small children had clearly been left unattended. But my guess is that this sad woman gave up being human a long time ago. Probably around the same time she put a giant flower on her hat. I guess actual people in distress just don’t register for her.

But back to Cesar. Because of this goiter parasite there are millions of people in this country who will buy sushi for their dogs. And strollers. And diapers. They will actually include DOG TV in their cable packages. And they will happily and obliviously equate having a dog to having a child. Look, man, your dog won’t grow up to be a serial killer or a con artist if you don’t raise it right. These people need help jackass and all you’ve done is shove their damaged personalities even further down the goddamned toilet. Shame on you. I hope your dog bites you and you get rabies.

I know these views are not popular. But, I have never courted popularity. And one day, if there is justice in this world, I’ll get a chance to meet THE DOG WHISPERER in person. And I’ll introduce him to THE FIST WHISPERER and his good friend THE BODY SLAM DELIVERER.



  1. April 13, 2015 at 7:35 AM

    Hay why don’t ya just shut up your looking in a Mere and what do you think you did to the dog whisperer umm maybe made him feel bad and if ya don’t have any thing nice to say don’t say it dumb ace

  2. 3 Guest
    March 1, 2015 at 5:12 PM

    This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read. People that talk to their pets are one step away from fucking them?Seriously? Are you sick in the head? When your kids were younger and you gave them a bath, did you want to fuck them? It’s the same concept you, moron.
    Cesar millan helped millions of people all around the world. His heart is bigger than most people’s, and unlike YOU, HE HAS ACTUALLY MADE A DIFFERENCE IN THIS WORLD.

    So FUCK OFF!

  3. November 22, 2013 at 9:30 PM

    Magic here. I’m really pleased to search your post. Thanks for looking towards feel you actually. Would you like to please shed us a mail?

  4. 7 ceser is awesome
    September 14, 2013 at 12:30 PM

    your mommy is so fat god and satin says there is no room and that is why you are a FAT ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. 8 Christine
    August 7, 2013 at 11:09 AM

    Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, but only if you’ve done your research. If you watch his show in one episode a lady treats her dog like a person, and he specifically says,”he’s a dog”. He understands dogs should not be treated like humans. So your hate for him because of that reason has just been debunked. Your choice of words and hatred for him have no grounds except making you sound like a bitter person. Try to be a positive person in society instead of making lists of whom you hate.

  6. May 18, 2013 at 9:40 AM

    FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID POST! Ceasar Milan is awesome! Go to hell asshole!

  7. 12 Shaune
    March 16, 2013 at 9:31 AM

    Regardless of what anyone thinks of Ceasar, you have to admit this write up was hilarious, and if it were pertaining to some other douche such as Chris Brown I’m sure the above comments would be all AMENs lol. Thanks for making me laugh, Magnus.

  8. 13 Anonymous
    March 10, 2013 at 1:29 AM

    you fucking asshole, you better get changing your mentality, if you don’t: then the world is going to fuck you with no mercy and slowly

  9. 14 Anonymous
    March 1, 2013 at 12:07 AM

    You fucking Asholes. If I see you you going to die.

  10. 15 Chun
    February 17, 2013 at 12:50 AM

    I love Cesar Millan and how he train people and dogs. I don’t know why some people like you hate him so much. It’s just sad to read your post. It only shows how cruel you are and I hope your children would not grow up imitating your worst attitude.

  11. February 15, 2013 at 8:36 PM

    Your ignorance is seeping through your pores.

    I can understand why you would be against idolizing an animal however you go to the extent and claim your opinions on subjective ideas are the truth and nothing but the truth.

    “Fist whisperer and body whisperer” ? Really? You think that’s witty?

    People who participate in Cesar’s show voluntarily asked for help. They were not held down and forced to take criticisms. To an extent, they desire them.

    You act as if he goes around trying to find flaws of people and degrade them.

    More likely than not, you’re just bitter because you graduated at most a state college and have a 9-5 work routine.

    And when you get home from your routine you sit down and write this tasteless and mediocrely justification of why you dislike a man you’ve never met.

    Grow the hell up, dude.
    I’m only a nineteen year old college student , but I clearly have more sense than you.

    Justify your arguments next time.
    Stop trying to initiate tension with your slander. Don’t you have better things to do?

    Obviously not.

  12. 17 MC
    January 11, 2013 at 5:37 PM


  13. 18 Anonymous
    December 24, 2012 at 6:53 AM

    Stop wasting your time commenting on this page. Cesar Millan is a millionaire, probably smashing whatever American MILF he feels like, while this guy struggles to pay for a sitter for his children. Laugh at him, don’t waste your energy getting wound up about him. I can imagine he is also extremely overweight and struggles, socially.

    • 19 Anonymous
      May 2, 2013 at 5:01 PM

      touche! well said. After all, who has time to build a website about hatred? Nonetheless about someone who is more talented, smarter, and successful then you. You could learrn a thing or 2 from Cesar; about ‘energy’. Your’s is negative, no wonder animals don’t like you.

  14. 20 Anonymous
    December 19, 2012 at 8:12 PM

    U are a fucking Idiota and estupido with this fake picture

  15. 21 Anonymous
    December 18, 2012 at 11:13 AM

    I hope you fucking die of Polio like about 3% of the children in Pakistan you fucking cunt.

  16. 22 Matilda
    December 15, 2012 at 12:00 PM

    For being someone who knows absolutely nothing about this man, you sure have a lot of opinions. So what can we read out of all of this? Well, your ego is probably alot bigger than your dick. Good luck with fixing that. 🙂

  17. 23 Tracy
    December 12, 2012 at 10:32 PM

    You have no idea what you are talking about – end of story – you are a pathetic oxygen thief!

  18. 24 Anonymous
    December 11, 2012 at 10:25 PM

    You’re an idiot and this website is an absolute joke. Grow up and get a real job

  19. 26 Anonymous
    December 5, 2012 at 1:38 PM

    Honestly I don’t like using the word retarded…but in this case I think it’s perfect because you must be literally retarded. Seriously this allegations that you claim have no back up or proof, so it just makes your argument weak. And by you using that kind of language clearly makes it even worse…I came across this by chance but you sir are retarded and should feel retarded

  20. 27 Anonymous
    December 5, 2012 at 12:28 AM

    Im so sorry you feel this way and that you waste so much negitive energy on this. I hope you can spemd more time seeing the positive in what he does then introducing more negitive and hateful words in this Godless world then we need.

  21. 28 Heather
    December 4, 2012 at 5:30 PM

    You are majorly misinformed… how about you do some research before you go off on a tangent.

  22. 29 James
    December 2, 2012 at 10:12 AM

    You suck at trolling. Pathetically obvious and your writing is weak.

  23. 30 David Veríssimo
    November 29, 2012 at 5:16 PM

    I am sorry for you.

  24. 31 nunya
    November 23, 2012 at 9:56 AM

    you are an idiot and your claim to fame is piggybacking on another mans life long effort to help others! shame on you loser. go out and try to make a difference in the world instead of critisizing those who do

  25. 32 Anonymous
    November 21, 2012 at 9:30 AM

    Your an idiot

  26. 34 Anonymous
    November 20, 2012 at 2:25 PM

    You’re an asshole….why would you even post something like this? Thousands of people love Cesar Millan for his efforts to help people help dogs. I ran across this by accident & was disgusted – you are truely a fucking asshole & I think it’s interesting that all these who are commenting dislike you as much as I do……PRICK!

  27. November 18, 2012 at 7:10 AM

    Your opinion is allowed, just think you should have watched an episode or two before you commented, as cesar is against most of what you claim. He tells people their dogs are NOT PEOPLE!!!!!!! YOU seem to be a bit steamed at someone without justification. That’s JUST my opinion!

  28. November 18, 2012 at 4:22 AM

    You are such an IDIOT! All the crap you’re saying just proves you haven’t watched one single episode of his show in your entire life.
    I would understand if you would criticise him by making observations related to what he is actually saying, but your text is full of crap, you hate him because some weird woman told you to not leave your dog in the car? Or because what other people tell you and you assume it might come from him?
    How about you actually watch some of his episodes and understand what he’s actually saying and next time you write a text about a subject try to find some real arguments in order to make your point.
    Here, aside from a colorful language you are not bringing any real evidence to prove your point. You’d probably be more believable if you’d just say you don’t like his face.

  29. 37 Zerpersande
    November 16, 2012 at 9:18 PM

    Personally, I like your post. It’s funny. Really. I enjoyed it. I also think that you are totally full of shit. Ceasar never promotes the idea that people should treat dogs like humans and if you knew anything about him, you would know that. You would also know that it not only isn’t okay to leave kids in a car unattended in the heat and the same goes for your dog. People treat dogs like humans and Ceasar tries to prevent that. You are an ignorant, though funny, asshole.

  30. 38 poop
    November 11, 2012 at 1:02 PM

    Most hated? I think that says it all in a nutshell. I don’t care that you hate others. I stumbled upon this by mere accident. Damn, you are a tool. Get a friggen grip. Spend your time and energy focused on something other than your hatred towards others. Maybe that cancer inside you will go away.

  31. 40 nathalie
    November 3, 2012 at 6:16 PM

    You are clearly depressed. It must suck to have such a foul outlook on life….no wonder you are broke, both financially and spiritually

  32. 41 Rita
    November 3, 2012 at 6:10 PM

    why does being close to someone or something automatically mean you want to fuck them??? i mean cmon, would u fuck ur kids just because u are close to them….for many people who cant or dont want human children, having pets is way to still share a beautiful, pure nurturing love and i think ur the sick one for bringing the issue of “wanting to fuck them” up….. I love animals, and i love my job (i am a vet tech) and never do i think of the animals i care for in that way until weird, old, creepy dudes like u make smart ass comments like that… EL CREEPO!!!

  33. 42 Anonymous
    October 19, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    ceasr is an amazing person with an incredible heart and gift for helping dogs that would otherwise be given up on and end up either dead or deserted somewhere first and then dead!! if its something your not interested in thats fine I can respect that you dont have an interest for dogs, there owners or the help they need, so your not a dog person, whatever, but that does’nt mean you should come on here and right 14 paragraphs of insults and put downs!! thats very distasteful and poorly exacuted. you can dislike somethin g without being an absolute ignorent “asisnine” asshole about it!!!

  34. October 19, 2012 at 4:31 AM

    If you don’t like the angry comments that people gave you, why post an angry and hate speech in the first place? Cesar is a normal guy who helps people who has problems with their dogs. He’s doing some good, unlike you. Unless he is some major serial killer or villainous rapist with drug addiction and psychological problems of his own, there is nothing wrong with Cesar at all. You’re the one who’s clearly in the wrong.

  35. 44 Jacqueline
    October 8, 2012 at 5:56 PM

    You wouldn’t do jack if you had the opportunity to see/meet him on the passing streets, and you know that’s the God’s honest truth. Silly hater.

  36. 45 Pen15
    September 27, 2012 at 2:11 AM

    shit the fuck up Magnusgreel, you fat ass hole you probubly wank off to the sikets shit you can find on the internet, and no one gives a fuck about who you hate or how much. roumors are roumors and you cant beleave anything unless you see it live infront of your eyes, i am sure most ppl are educated enough to know this. maybe you should fined a better hobby than dedicating your life on hating on others!! it might bring you better luck in life. i hope you get hit by a fucking bus.

  37. 46 Anonymous
    September 23, 2012 at 7:27 PM

    Magnus Greel, fucktard

  38. 48 RUKiddingMe
    September 18, 2012 at 12:15 PM

    I find it amusing that you people can sit here and criticize him. I would LOVE to see you guys enter a backyard or a room where one of these dogs are. He’s not training little chihuahuas to sit or stay. He’s re-wiring dogs that have already been trained to attack, maim or kill (usually unwittingly). This guy can go up against the most aggressive dog in the world and have no fear. Could you? What a bunch of pussies. Stand on your own two feet for your own credentials rather than try to beat down the guy ahead of you.

    • September 18, 2012 at 12:31 PM

      Television shows, reality TV in particular, make use of something called “editing”. Basically, this means that everything filmed does not end up on your television. Further, things which weren’t filmed to begin with also are absent from what you are seeing. Of course he can “go up against the most aggressive dog in the world and have no fear”. You didn’t see the part where he starved the dog for three days or used pepper spray and electrical shocks or, in more than a few cases, had the dog pumped full of tranquilizers. And having worked in this industry I am standing quite firmly on my own two feet for my credentials. What exactly are yours?

      • 50 Anonymous
        October 17, 2012 at 4:56 AM

        Sources? Testimonials? Evidence? Show me the goods. Seriously, I’d really like to see these allegations proven.

      • 51 ceser is awesome
        September 14, 2013 at 12:18 PM

        you have know idea what you are talking about you FUCKHEAD!!!!!! your just mad that you are not skinny or smart or have a talent like ceser. you just sit on your FAT ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL DAY LONG. i bet you can’t even lift your own finger. BTW stop eating all the food in the world and get off your LAZY FAT ASS AND RUN wait you can’t loser. you’re so fat you make the fattest person in the world look skinny. you’re so fat you take up heaven and hell FAT ASS.AND YOUR SO UGLY YOU MAKE A DOGS PIECE OF SHIT LOOK PRETTY.

      • 52 ceser is awesome
        April 11, 2014 at 6:51 AM

        I have watched almost every single episode of the Dog whisper. But for you to claim that ceser starved the dogs, or used pepper spray, or electrical shock, oh oh and pumped full of tranquilizers is unreal.Personal I would like to see your evidence on this that is if you have any which you probable don’t. Further more I would like to add that you clearly stated that you are not famous so doesn’t that give you more reason to hate him.I mean really the only reason you hate him is because he is successful and famous. So that just proves that you’re jealous of him, and you wish that you could be him. You wish that you could be known all around the world. You wish that you could be talented like ceser. you wish that you could have a girlfriend that looks like ceser’s girlfriend. Personal I think you are ether A are abscessed with him ,B you love him but you hate him at the same time or ,C you are just full of hate. So before you go off and start to make claims about people make sure you have evidence to back up what you are tiring to say. Oh and one more thing I am Pakistani and I am not a terrorist.

    • 53 k9mythbuster
      September 18, 2012 at 11:03 PM

      As a matter of fact, I DO walk into a room with these dogs every day. I have been a professional dog trainer since back when Millan was just a dog groomer. He’s not rewiring dogs, he’s suppressing behavior through the use of force…and really good editors. He may have no fear, but he also has no real impact on behavior. If you don’t believe me, contact his producers and ask him to release all the dog owners from their non-disclosure agreements so they can tell you about the outcome of their brush with Cesar’s greatness.

    • 54 willow
      September 21, 2012 at 9:43 AM

      l have 2 staffy’s and lve watched cesar with al different types of dogs and he is the best at helpin them he never shouts at them he keeps calm and every dog he has worked with is havin a more happier life thanks to him.Why would anyone want to hate him when hes the best help for the dogs who have problems.I have learned alot from watchin cesar with the dogs he is a miracle worker with the dogs and the people who want to enjoy their animals.My mothers dog couldnt go near other dogs without goin for them and thanks to cesar’s idea’s tricks and talents my mums dog now walk’s and play’s with my 2 dog’s and other dog’s.

  39. 55 Vienna
    September 17, 2012 at 12:39 AM

    I was only looking for a picture of Cesar Millan, when I came across your blog. This is meant in the nicest possible way: I would like you to find a real good psychiatrist. You obviously think that anybody is interested in your personal opinion of the world, the people that are living on it and their behaviour. You really (!) do need help with your issues and I sincerely hope you can find it. Please do no longer plague anybody with your dire tribe of self appointed expertise in just about any topic on this planet. And, please, first take a good long look at yourself, before you judge anybody else. Should you really in any way, shape or form be working for reality TV, I would like your employees to have you assessed mentally as you do not seem to be fit for employment in a public company, dealing with people. Your ranting and raving clearly shows that you should not be let out without supervision and should you really have a wife and children I would like to extend my sincere commiserations to them. Sharing a life with you must be deeply disturbing.

    • September 17, 2012 at 9:04 AM

      I’ve never looked at it that way before, man (woman?). It never occurred to me how much I’ve just been wasting my time and harming so many people by expressing myself. I’ve obviously caused you a great deal of distress and for that I apologize. Thank you for the input. Because of your comments I am now deeply reassessing my life and the views I hold. I think it’s probably best that I just stop doing what I’ve committed two years to doing because of the views of one man (woman?). In fact, I think that making major changes to my life whenever some guy (woman?) makes an anonymous observation is probably a safe and healthy thing to do. Thank you again. And I hope you find that picture of that dog abusing sadist you were looking for.

      • September 17, 2012 at 9:13 AM

        And he’s also a serious coke head.

        • 58 ceserisawesome
          June 8, 2014 at 2:31 PM

          the only reason he started doing drugs is because he’s Ex wife texted that she wanted a divorce when he was out of the country, and he clearly states that in the documentary he made so you should go watch that. i mean really any person with a heart would do that.so there is some information for you with evidence.

      • 59 Vienna
        September 18, 2012 at 9:40 AM

        Great to see you are capable of a lot of self reflection. Good to know that my comments have helped you with your obvious problems. Keep up the good work and maybe you can return to society one day and become a valuable member of human kind. Let us know how that worked out for you.

  40. 61 Anonymous
    September 15, 2012 at 11:17 AM

    Who cares about ur gay ass rant fag they are just dogs

    • September 15, 2012 at 8:53 PM

      I have to wonder why you would keep coming to a blog post you clearly don’t agree with and post angry comments. I’m guessing it’s not because you have an active social life or hobbies or friends. But that’s okay. I really do hope it all works out for you one day. Until then please give Fido a kiss for me.

      • 63 Anonymous
        November 30, 2012 at 8:47 PM

        Maybe for the same reasons you post angry comments about whatever it is you don’t agree with. I’m guessing it’s not because you have an active social life or hobbies or friends or an IQ over 80. But it’s ok, even though I don’t think it will all work out for you one day, because no one really gives a shit. Apart from Fido.

  41. 64 Anonymous
    September 14, 2012 at 10:26 AM

    I hope he has thirty rottweilers when you punch him in the face

  42. 66 Anonymous
    August 27, 2012 at 6:12 PM

    You have got to be the biggest smuck on the planet. Your opinion doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense. Maybe Cesar needs to train you. You’re a fool and have a mouth like a sewer. Good luck in life moron

  43. 68 GreelFanatic
    August 24, 2012 at 7:05 PM

    I’ve heard from people that work behind the scenes in the reality television industry that Cesar Milan has done some horribly cruel things to the dogs off-camera to get them to behave and follow his commands. In the wild dogs will fight and when beaten down will follow the alpha… unfortunately because of editing (and the fact that the cameras are off for most of the “conditioning”) you will never see how Cesar really breaks the resolve of most of his dog clients to get them to follow commands – FEAR. Glad he will be off the air soon.

    • August 24, 2012 at 10:22 PM

      I actually spent some time working in reality TV myself. I helped develop and produce a pilot once for another show on which the director was also the director on DOG WHISPERER. What you have heard is totally true and it gets even worse when you hear the details. It’s kind of how this scab on the anus of humanity got on my radar.

      BTW- love your handle :+)

    • 71 ceser is awesome
      April 22, 2014 at 8:40 PM

      please show me your evidence because i would love to see it. oh wait that’s right you don’t have any. so until you can show me some hard evidence SHUT THE HELL UP.

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