04
Sep
12

MAGNUS GREEL MOST HATED #5: CHRIS DODD

I’m now halfway through this list and things are getting kind of fun now. A friend of mine emailed me the other night and said he and his coworkers are starting to take bets on who is next and who is number one. Former Democratic Senator Chris Dodd should not be a surprise choice because everyone hates this fucking guy. In fact, anyone who actually likes him would strike me as mentally ill. That’s like saying you like inoperable brain tumors or child molesters.

Dodd, pictured above showing exactly how much he cares about the average American, is number five on my list.

Yeah, that’s right. I’m putting a Democrat on my list. While I stop short of declaring any party loyalty the fact is I expect so much more from the Dems. Dodd’s almost sexual love affair with the financial sector is at the heart of my disgust. A man as pro-Wall Street and pro-one percent as this tool should not be the one authoring financial regulatory legislation. That would be like me being put in charge of an anti-porn taskforce or anti-digital piracy committee.

Sure, for three decades Dodd caucused with the Democrats on cabinet appointments and judicial nominations. He towed the line when it came to socially liberal issues. But it was just a costume he wore. And while I accept that all politicians are actors at Dodd’s rotting, stinking, sewage-filled core he is a total right wing capitalist thug. The Dodd-Frank Amendment, which was meant to put new banking and financial regulations in place, turned out to be the most ineffective piece of bullshit ever to be defecated out of the United States Capitol Building. Dodd, perhaps sensing the end of his 30 year spree in Washington, decided to give one more gift to his corporate masters and then play stupid about it.

After the financial crisis, Dodd’s approval rating in his home state was in the toilet. In 2011 he “retired” from the U.S. Senate. Well, I mean “retired” in the same sense that some people say “was about to get his ass handed to him in defeat so he bowed out”. But, that doesn’t mean he’s gone away. Oh no. Not at all.

Dodd is now the head of the Motion Picture Association of America which, frankly, shouldn’t even exist. This asshole is now in charge of deciding what will and won’t end up in theaters. Which, as someone who spent ten years in Hollywood, I think is just one more thing helping Hollywood suck. But, then again, someone as utterly fake as Chris Dodd belongs in an industry which prizes fakery. It’s just a natural move for him. I feel like the guy should almost have to wear clown makeup wherever he goes and juggle bowling pins.

Dodd, of course, also lobbies his former senatorial comrades on behalf of the same financial sector he was in charge of regulating. So at least now his loyalties are a little more apparent. Still, the fact that he still wields a tremendous amount of influence in my government really, really pisses me off. But, maybe I should thank him for sticking around and giving my anger and hatred focus.

Actually, on second thought, scratch that. Fuck Chris Dodd.

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