Now that I’ve gotten my ten most hated out of the way I can go back to being the opinionated scandal sheet you all know and love. Admittedly I’ve missed scouring the headlines each day for material. I also miss partying with porn stars but there are just some things you can’t go back to. So headlines it is.

Of course the big story unfolding these last few days has been the complete breakdown of mental health, er, law and order in the Muslim world. Islam, of course, forbids the depiction of the prophet Mohammed in just about any capacity whatsoever. The idea being that followers should not worship a mere human but god himself. And boy do they hate it when people just go ahead and do it anyway.

“The United States has ordered the departure of non-essential government personnel and family members from posts in Sudan and Tunisia in the latest reaction to a wave of anti-American unrest in the region.

The US government also issued travel warnings to its citizens in those two countries on Saturday, urging them to depart due to security concerns after a US-made anti-Islam video triggered a violent backlash in several Islamic countries…

…The warnings follow a wave of protests and violence over an anti-Muslim film that has swept across the Middle East and other Muslim countries in recent days.

An obscure, 13-minute, amateurish video made in the US called “Innocence of Muslims” that depicts the Prophet Muhammad as a fraud, a womanizer and a pedophile sparked the outrage.

Some of the films key producers and backers were reported to be Egyptian-American Coptic Christians, one of whom, Nakoula Basseley Nakoula, has a criminal history and has gone into hiding.

Outrage over the film began in Egypt, where Salafist pundits stirred anger over what had been an unknown YouTube video.” – AL JAZEERA

So basically, the Muslim world is pissed off because they heard from someone that someone else had made a movie in which they allegedly had the prophet Mohammed doing.. uuuuh… hell, man, it doesn’t matter. Suffice to say a lot of people in the Muslim world are apparently out of work because they have time for shit like this.

Personally, I have kids to take care of. And a job. So, you know, going out and torching buildings is not something I have the luxury of doing every time someone doesn’t say “bless you” when I sneeze or wears white after Labor Day or… whatever. I like to riot when there’s a war I don’t agree with or the cops shoot some guy like 50 times for brandishing a butter knife. Taking it to the streets should be reserved for, I don’t know, the theft of a Presidential election or your favorite team winning the championships. Muslims are always accusing the rest of the world of not understanding it. Well, here’s what I understand.

I think your leaders, or the people who want to be your leaders, are trying to change the subject from why none of you have jobs or a decent standard of living. And while I think you do have some legitimate grievances about how the West has treated your part of the world, I think the same people stirring you into a frenzy over a goddamn YouTube video are probably the same people who were responsible for a lot of the shit we’ve had to do. Al Qaeda. Hezbollah. The Taliban. And so on and so on. So maybe, and I’m just throwing this out here, you should be burning down their houses and not the ones belonging to Americans who pump billions of dollars of aid into your countries every year.

And yes, it goes without saying there are plenty of normal and sane Muslims in the world who have nothing to do with any of this. Chances are they already live in America because they were sick of your crazy bullshit and left to join the 21st century. And if they haven’t started rioting after some brainless redneck drives a car through a Mosque in Arizona or shoots up a Sikh Temple in Wisconsin (because he’s too fucking illiterate to know it’s not a mosque) my guess is they’re not going to start now over something asinine and trivial like this.

Listen, dipshits, this amateur peanuts filmmaker wanted attention. And you gave it to him in spades. By this time next year he’ll probably have a three picture deal with Sony. And you’ll still be unemployed and dodging tear gas canisters. I wonder what Mohammed would have to say about that.


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