Doing posts about the Presidential election seems kind of pointless now. Everybody’s talking and nobody’s listening. And it’s all pretty much bullshit anyway. And yet I’m addicted to it. For me politics is a contact sport and I follow it in its minutiae the way sports fans follow their favorite teams. Which is why I was even bothering to see what Paul Ryan! had to say on a random campaign stop in Ohio today. Well, it was that and also this speculum fetish video from Tajikistan is taking forever to download.

“During a town hall meeting, the first stop on a bus tour across Ohio, Ryan said, “”People are beginning to give up hope. People are beginning to think that the American dream’s not for them because of this stagnant economy. And when you take a look at what your government’s doing to you in every nook and cranny of America, it’s not good.”

Ryan also said that the Obama administration has threatened to veto a defense spending bill if Congress tries to reinstate funding for the nation’s only tank-manufacturing plant, located in Lima. The Pentagon has said it has enough of the vehicles and is trying halt production of tanks for several years, but Ohio legislators like Sen. Rob Portman and Rep. Jim Jordan — both of whom spoke before Ryan at the event — have lobbied to keep the plant open.

“Look, Lima, I know you understand when … you have a president who has proposed again and again to shut down this tank factory — the only one we have — over a budget gimmick, ” Ryan said. “If we keep doing this, if we keep showing that the only thing we want to do is gut our military, that projects weakness abroad. And by projecting weakness abroad, our adversaries are so much more tempted to test us, and our allies are so much less willing to trust us.” – CBS NEWS

Dude, if the military says they don’t need anymore tanks then my guess is they don’t need anymore tanks. They’re kind of the experts in the whole tank field. And what Ryan failed to mention is that it’s not just a matter of buying the damn things. You have to spend money on parts and maintenance and training for people to fix them and operate them. And then, of course, what the fuck are you going to do with them? Drive them up and down the streets of Lima and run over parked cars? THE MILITARY DOESN’T FUCKING NEED THEM.

Of course the ultimate irony is Ryan himself. This is a man who pretty much masturbates to thoughts of the free market controlling everything. Well, young man, the market says it doesn’t need anymore tanks. You can’t decry government spending and government interference in the marketplace and then turn around and insist that the government buy shit it doesn’t need just to keep a factory open. Have the fucking courage to stand by your convictions… oh yeah, this is Romney/Ryan we’re talking about. Never mind.

And lastly, Scooter, your only work experience outside of being a career Congressman was driving a fucking Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. I’m just going to go ahead and pretend that you didn’t try and sound authoritative on global military issues. I’ll just assume those noises coming out of your mouth were some kind of reverse flatulence that sounded coincidentally like words. That’s the same thing I do when I listen to my boss at work or my internet provider when it lectures me about piracy.



  1. September 25, 2012 at 5:09 PM

    Let’s don’t forget that he has actually VOTED TO SEND TROOPS INTO WAR. So he obviously understands the military and foreign policy. He must have some kind of secret knowledge that we will, in fact, be needing these tanks soon. Besides, with all this superfluous money the country has, we have to spend it on something. He is an all-purpose comprehensive S.O.B. and talks out his ass.

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