25
Oct
12

LIFE BEGINS AT VIOLATION

 

There’s really no sense in doing a splashy or shocking headline when someone in the Republican Party says something crazy. It would be like me doing a piece on how Vladimir Putin is powerful but bald or how scotch makes the pain go away. But every so often I feel like being topical instead of just going off on an absurd rant. Granted, absurd rants are a lot of fun. A lot of fun. But, I digress.

As when Missouri senate candidate Todd Akin made his now infamous “legitimate rape” comment a few months ago, I hardly flinched when I saw this the other day:

“Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock became the latest Republican to stir up controversy – and potential trouble for the Romney campaign – when he said during a debate that “even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that is something that God intended to happen.”

Mourdock, a tea party-backed conservative Republican, unseated longtime Sen. Richard Lugar after a heated primary campaign. On Sunday, with his general election race tightening, he received Mitt Romney’s official support. Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch is the only other candidate Romney has appeared on camera to endorse.

“With so much at stake, I hope you’ll join me in supporting Richard Mourdock for U.S. Senate,” Romney says in the new web video.“ – ABC NEWS

Of course Christianity itself began with a rape so it’s not totally surprising that these people see it this way. God might as well have climbed in through Mary’s bedroom window wearing a bandit mask and waving a knife in her face. I hope Mary, realizing it was going to happen whether she wanted it to or not, was at least able to enjoy it.

Of course this is all just a bunch of bullshit. Guys like Akin or Mourdock or even Mitt Romney! himself don’t actually believe in any of this crap. They’re just good at exploiting people who do. And they know that there is no such thing as bad publicity. Not when some backwoods retard in an Indiana or Missouri senate race can become a national name. These guys will have their own shows on Fox before you know it. Because as it stands, thankfully, it doesn’t look like either of them will get elected.

And just out of curiosity, what if a man gets raped by another man in prison and gets AIDS? Is that also a gift from god? If I rape a cow or a horse and end up with some kind of animal parasite on my dick is that god exercising his will? Is it the command of the creator himself I am following when I rape my own hand two, sometimes three times a day?

The answer is “no” of course because here in America rape is a sacred institution between one man and one woman. We’re still a somewhat conservative country so there will probably never be an Equal Rape Amendment. But, hey, I’m a dreamer baby.

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