29
Oct
12

NORTH KOREA IS A MODEL OF SANITY

I truly have no idea what in the hell is going on in this picture. But, being that it was taken in North Korea, I can only assume there are like a dozen guys aiming machine guns at these yahoos just out of frame. I think smiling at all there is illegal otherwise. North Korea is a country absolutely determined not to be outdone or upstaged. Iran can stone all the adulterers they want. The Taliban can gun down all the literate little girls they can find. Because just when you think there is a length or extreme NoKo won’t go to, well, think again:

“Kim Chol, vice minister of the army, was taken into custody earlier this year on the orders of Kim Jong-un, who assumed the leadership after the death of his father in December.

On the orders of Kim Jong-un to leave “no trace of him behind, down to his hair,” according to South Korean media, Kim Chol was forced to stand on a spot that had been zeroed in for a mortar round and “obliterated.”

The execution of Kim Chol is just one example of a purge of members of the North Korean military or party who threatened the fledgling regime of Kim Jong-un.

So far this year, 14 senior officials have fallen victim to the purges, according to intelligence data provided to Yoon Sang-hyun, a member of the South Korean Foreign Affairs, Trade and Unification Committee.

Those that have fallen from favour include Ri Yong-ho, the head of the army and Ri Kwang-gon, the governor of the North Korean central bank.” – THE TELEGRAPH

I remember when I was a kid and I played with action figures. When the time had come for one of them to be executed, usually for a high crime like not being a COBRA guy or being the older of two identical Luke Skywalkers, I would have an elaborate ceremony. The condemned was led through my house on the back of a H.I.S.S. tank, allowed to say some final words and then duct taped to an M-80.

Of course those were toys and I was a child. I wasn’t running a country and whacking real people. You’d think a bullet or a noose would be cheaper and therefore more attractive to a broke ass country like North Korea. But I guess when you absolutely, positively have to make sure the motherfucker is dead then there’s no substitute for a propelled high explosive. And of course North Korea has, shall we say, somewhat vaguer legal standards for what constitutes a capital crime.

But, what the hell. In Vietnam they execute people with a flamethrower. In Turkmenistan they strap you to a SCUD missile. Frankly, we look like a bunch of softies here in America with our electric chairs and lethal injections. If I could choose my own method of execution I would ask to have Bette Midler dropped on me from a height of about 900 feet. You might think that sounds kind of silly. But, I would die taking that malignant bitch with me. So, in the end, I guess that would kind of make me the biggest goddamn hero in the world.

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