So who, you might ask, is Lloyd Blankfein? No, he’s not a hairless mouse impersonator although I think he’d be really good at that. He’s actually the chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs. And if we were both at a party and he told me this I would probably just kind of walk away and avoid him for the rest of the night. Asshole.

To be perfectly honest, and not just belligerent, I really don’t understand the fascination our culture has with rich people. I get it: you make and/or were born with a lot of money. That’s all fine and dandy. But I could care less about your views on… just about anything. I don’t read books about you. I don’t watch your reality TV shows. I don’t even really pay that much attention to you when they interview you on the news which seems to happen all the fucking time.

“Stocks shook off their post-election slump Monday, in part because of optimism that the president and Congress will reach a compromise on the nation’s budget by the end of the year.

If they don’t, there will be automatic tax increases and huge cuts in federal spending — that so-called fiscal cliff.

It’s a time bomb, according to Lloyd Blankfein, chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs, and one of the world’s most influential bankers. His message to Washington? Make a deal.

BLANKFEIN: Their job is to make the country function, not to — it’s not a winning game, it’s a get-along game.

PELLEY: Washington playing with fire?


An interview with Lloyd Blankfein is as rare as a look inside the Goldman Sachs money machine. He showed us one of seven trading floors at his Manhattan headquarters. Goldman is one of America’s most successful investment banks. It had net earnings of $4.4 billion dollars last year. When we asked Blankfein how to reduce the federal budget deficit, he went straight for the subject politicians don’t want to talk about.

BLANKFEIN: You’re going to have to undoubtedly do something to lower people’s expectations — the entitlements and what people think that they’re going to get, because it’s not going to — they’re not going to get it.

PELLEY: Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid?

BLANKFEIN: You can look at history of these things, and Social Security wasn’t devised to be a system that supported you for a 30-year retirement after a 25-year career. … So there will be things that, you know, the retirement age has to be changed, maybe some of the benefits have to be affected, maybe some of the inflation adjustments have to be revised. But in general, entitlements have to be slowed down and contained.

PELLEY: Because we can’t afford them going forward?

BLANKFEIN: Because we can’t afford them.” – CBS NEWS

But you know who does pay attention to the rich? Our government. Boy oh boy. They almost exclusively talk to the rich. That’s why Captain Stubing up there was kicking it at the White House this week and word has it he met with Congressional leaders also. Hooray. Sounds like a party.

It’s always a constant source of amusement to me when rich people tell the rest of us we need to work more. And expect less. When is Lloyd Blankfein going to work harder? Or, you know, at all? He runs an investment bank. He gets paid millions of dollars to sit in an office and tell people what kind of coffee he wants. Meanwhile, normal people are working themselves to death at multiple jobs and they’re still broke.

Perhaps that’s unfair. I’m sure there’s a really touching story in there somewhere about how Lloyd worked really, really hard to get where he is. There was probably a parent who worked nights at a mill or something so he could go to business school. Then again Ted Bundy and Al Capone both worked really hard to get where they ended up. So it’s kind of a mixed bag.

Meeting with business leaders and guys wearing ties makes sense when you’re trying to get the economy moving again. Of course it might actually be more helpful if the President and Congress met with a big group of unemployed people. Or underemployed, which is kind of worse. Something tells me their point of view is far more relevant in times like these. What does a fucking banker have to contribute to a discussion about unemployment?

If you ask me (and this whole thing where you don’t is really starting to get old and makes me wonder if maybe you don’t have some kind of inadequacy issue) it’s kind of pointless to talk to the rich about anything. They’re rich. They’re not worried about the future. Guys like Lloyd are pretty much set for life. Christ, Mitt Romney! was fucking loaded and he didn’t know crap about anything. Anything. And yet there he was also wining and dining at the White House this week. Or perhaps just whining. Anyway, maybe he and Lloyd will go have drinks later and throw dollar bills at homeless people or urinate on hookers.

I’m just guessing, really. I mean that’s what I would probably do if I were rich. Actually I already do that and I’m definitely not wealthy. So, if there’s a point here I’m not entirely sure what it is. In fact I’m just kind of talking out of my ass. So, you know, I guess Lloyd and I have something in common after all.



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