Wild Rice

I had this post written on Friday but never put it up. And I almost feel like today still isn’t the day for my schtick. On the other hand I’m not going to let some asshole who lights up an elementary school keep me from changing the way I do things. The goal of a terrorist is to terrorize and, frankly, the only thing I find terrifying are those drunken 2 AM phone calls from Hillary Clinton. Seriously, lady, that was like five years ago. Get over it. Bill and I both did.

Speaking of Hillary Clinton being drunk and falling down our outgoing Secretary of State is recovering from a concussion this week. There were the usual explanations of “exhaustion” and “dehydration” but we all know what that really means. Just like when rock stars and actors crash their cars or get kicked off of airplanes for being “exhausted” and “dehydrated” when in reality they were just shit-stinkingly drunk. I’d be boozing it up too after four years in the relatively thankless job of being America’s top diplomat. Of course the battle to succeed her has been underway for some time now and it recently saw its first casualty.

“The decision by United Nations ambassador Susan Rice to withdraw her name from consideration as President Obama’s next Secretary of State sent shockwaves through Washington Thursday evening.

Rice, as anyone watching the political battle over her potential nomination knows by now, had come under fire from Senate Republicans for comments she made earlier this fall on Sunday morning talk shows about the attacks in Benghazi, Libya. Sens. John McCain, Lindsey Graham and Kelly Ayotte seized on the issue and promised a difficult confirmation for Rice to the job of chief diplomat. In the aftermath, Rice chose to withdraw her name, saying in a letter to the president that “I am now convinced that the confirmation process would be lengthy disruptive and costly—to you and to our most pressing national and international priorities.” – THE WASHINGTON POST

Rice herself took to the op-ed page of the Washington Post to explain her decision. And while I agree that it’s unfair she didn’t at least get to interview for the job she shouldn’t get too wounded about it. Secretary of State is a position for people who are, you know, already famous. Colin Powell. Condaleeza Rice. Hillary Clinton. You’re going to be America’s top diplomat. Best that people know you better than just as “that Benghazi woman”. And yeah, anybody with a brain in their skull knows this whole Benghazi thing is just bullshit. Republicans at this point would make hay out of THE HOBBIT if it gave them something to feel good about.

For now it seems Senator John Kerry is heading for that job. Rice being upset at not getting it is like some runner-up from American Idol getting mad because Paul McCartney is fronting the upcoming Nirvana reunion and not them. And yeah, that is happening. And no, I can’t picture Paul jumbly jangling his way through RAPE ME or TERRITORIAL PISSINGS either. But he’s Paul Fucking McCartney. I’m sure he could be part of a Public Enemy reunion if he wanted. And now I can’t stop doing PE lyrics in his voice. Christ, my whole day is shot.



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