03
Apr
13

GEORGE BUSH IS FINALLY GETTING HIS LIBRARY

The Bush Library

Yes, I am aware that a Presidential library doesn’t actually have books in it. But, let’s face it: you know Bush thinks they do. I’ll bet that’s exactly what he thinks this thing is going to be. He probably keeps getting all excited and telling his wife Laura “Honey! Hey honey! I’m gonna’ have a library! You can come work at it ‘cause you used to be a librarian! Ain’t that sweet? Heh heh! Heh heh! Maybe they’ll have that goat book in it! Heh heh!”

“President Barack Obama will be on hand for the opening of former President George W. Bush’s library later this month, one of the few times the two have united in person since Bush left office four years ago.

“President Obama and the First Lady look forward to participating in the formal opening of a library that will be dedicated to a President who led our country in difficult times at home and abroad,” said White House Deputy Press Secretary Josh Earnest Wednesday. “It’s difficult to fully comprehend what it’s like to serve as President of the United States unless you’ve done it – and President Obama has developed a good relationship with both President George W. Bush and President George H.W. Bush.”

The library, a sprawling facility on the campus of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, is slated to open April 25 after more than two years of construction. In addition to Obama, all the living former presidents will attend, according to spokespersons for each president.

Obama and Bush last united a year ago when the former president’s official portrait was unveiled at the White House. The two did not exactly appear close, and in his re-election campaign the president continued to lay blame on Bush for the tepid economic recovery.” – CNN

No shit these two don’t spend a lot of time together. The few times they have been in the same room Obama looked like he was about pull his shirt off and beat the Jesus out of him. And who could blame him? Imagine getting your dream job only to find you have to spend your time in office cleaning up the pile of shit your predecessor left behind. Yeah, everybody blames Bush for the shit we’re in now. Everybody whose opinion matters at any rate. Hell, man, I blame him for everything. War and suffering? Fuckin’ Bush. I burned my toast? Fuckin’ Bush. The neighbor lady got shitfaced and wrecked her car? Fuckin’ Bush. And so on and so forth.

Of course you don’t actually see much of Bush and his father together either. It’s not every day that your idiot kid takes an otherwise solid political dynasty and flushes it down the toilet. Seriously, the name “Bush” is now synonymous with failure and sucking. In fact, the George W. Bush Presidential Library should consist of a single large room with a giant picture of Fatty Arbuckle being hit in the face with a cream pie. I’m not sure how anyone attending the opening of this thing is going to sit through it with a straight face. Or, you know, not begin sobbing uncontrollably when they’re forced to remember what this jackass did to our country for eight years. Jesus, just thinking about it is driving me back to drinking. I’m probably going to lose my job or get in trouble with the law now. Fuckin’ Bush.

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