09
May
13

DON’T WORRY, BANGLADESH IS GOING TO GET YOU YOUR FUCKING UNDERWEAR

 

Fall Into the Gap

At this point in my life I’ve pretty much accepted that every time I buy shoes, rent a DVD or put gas in my car I’m killing people somewhere in the world. Seriously, you can’t even buy a fucking banana anymore without knowing that someone is getting machine-gunned to death in the jungle or being gang-raped on a bus. And what the hell am I supposed to do? I need shoes. And bananas. And poorly produced entertainment.

Well, I don’t need those things but not buying them is just the first step on a slippery slope to becoming the next Unabomber or David Koresh. So, in a very odd but quite realistic way I’m saving more lives than I’m taking. In that respect I’m basically Jesus.

 
“The death toll from Bangladesh’s worst industrial accident has passed 1,000 people, as recovery teams continue to find more bodies in the wreckage.
The eight-storey Rana Plaza factory building, in Dhaka, collapsed on 24 April, with an unknown number inside.
The authorities say about 2,500 people were injured in the accident and 2,437 people were rescued…
…The Rana Plaza building had housed a number of garment factories. A number of officials – including the building owner – have since been arrested and charged with causing deaths by negligence.
Protesters have taken to the streets calling for the death penalty for the owner, and garment workers have alleged that they were forced to work in the building despite cracks appearing on the walls.
Bangladesh has one of the largest garment industries in the world, and some of the clothes produced in the Rana Plaza building were made for Western retailers.” – BBC NEWS

 
Conservatives will probably just shrug this off as the cost of doing business. Liberals will probably want to scream at anyone wearing clothes or jewelry. Personally, I think we should bomb Bangladesh. Hanoi style. Like, with everything we have. Just fucking level the place. And then offer no explanation whatsoever. When people at the United Nations express outrage we should give them a blank stare and say “Nice shoes.” And then bomb them too. Then bill them for the cost of our munitions and our time. Seriously, someone has to pay for that shit. We’re not running a charity over here.

 
It is generally accepted that it’s better to be feared as opposed to being loved. Looking around the world today I’m left with the distinct impression that we’re not loved. Certainly not by people who die in the process of making pants for the obese or making sure your cell phone doesn’t have scratches on it. We might as well be feared. Although, we Americans have trouble drawing a distinction between being feared and being hated. So, we just kind of do both. That’s why America is so awesome. Everyone wins here.

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