20
Jun
13

CANADA WILL DEFEND THE EARTH FROM ALIENS

SHIELD

I’ll start off by saying that I totally believe in aliens. And, I think they have visited this planet… at some point. I have no idea why, though. Earth is kind of like the Alabama of the Milky Way Galaxy and if I had a spaceship this is probably the last place I would visit. And as far as the U.S. Government keeping it all a secret, well, I don’t exactly credit them with an over-abundance of brains on the matter. Luckily, we have a crack military power for a neighbor. That’s right. Canada. Oh, Canada. And while it’s easy to poke fun at our Northern neighbors I give them a lot of credit for talking openly about what most of us have known for years. No, not that their beer is better than ours (shit, man, Vietnam makes better beer than America). But, that aliens are among us.

“Canada’s former minister of National Defence Paul Hellyer testified at the Citizen Hearing On Disclosure (CHD) last month in Washington D.C. that aliens are living among us and that it is likely at least two of them are working with the U.S. government.

Hellyer, whose beliefs on extraterrestrial life and UFOs are well established, made the statements at the non-governmental hearings chaired by six former U.S. congressmen and aimed at, according to the event’s website, doing “what the U.S. Congress had failed to do for forty-five years — [sic] seek out the facts surrounding the most important issue of this or any other time — [sic] evidence pointing toward an extraterrestrial presence engaging the human race.” – THE HUFFINGTON POST

I honestly wasn’t even aware that Canada had a defense minister. Or, you know, actual defense of any kind. I’m not sure what they’re defending themselves from. Shit, man, most people couldn’t find Canada on a map let alone try to invade the place. You’d have an easier time attacking Antarctica. And Canada must have a totally state-of-the-art intelligence apparatus to have access to the greatest secrets in human history. And yeah, I’m pretty much cracking up as I write this. At any rate, the video of Hellyer’s testimony can be seen below and is actually kind of worth checking out. Something about old men in suits talking frankly about aliens and UFOs gives the whole thing a kind of legitimacy. Certainly more than the goofballs they have on ANCIENT ALIENS.

Of course, as happy as I am that members of our government, albeit former ones, took the time to sit down and listen to this guy I’m also kind of irritated by it. Why doesn’t our government take this kind of time to talk about student loan debt or gun control? Or, you know, war? Because something would actually get accomplished I suppose. And then they really would have nothing to do.  To a politician, problems are more valuable than solutions.

No. They’d rather talk about aliens and act like they’re actually doing something constructive. And probably get paid obscene amounts of money for it. Which makes me think that I’m in the wrong line of work. Of course when you realize you can get paid and wield power by playing the system and avoiding any actual work, most jobs seem kind of idiotic. Except hitman or porn star. Those will always be the best jobs ever.

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1 Response to “CANADA WILL DEFEND THE EARTH FROM ALIENS”


  1. 1 EESSCCOO
    June 21, 2013 at 12:57 AM

    AWESOME!! Reference in Job Tasks cracked me up. Keep it up.


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