03
Jul
13

RICK SANTORUM IS GOING TO MAKE MOVIES NOW

Rick Santorum

Rick Santorum has always been an anomaly to me, and not just because he’s a batshit crazy wingnut. I’ve always found it fascinating how a man so obsessed with family values could have such a fragile mask of sanity which is so obviously about to slide off. Seriously, man, this guy is one Judas Priest song away from making a sofa out of his wife’s flesh and building an altar out of hitchhiker skulls. In all reality, though, I don’t think old Dick really believes half the shit he says or preaches. Like most serial killers the guy is ultimately just a fucking con artist who has made a career (and a small fortune) playing to the beliefs of the lowest rung on the ladder of American society. In another time and place he would be selling flat earth maps or drowning young girls to determine if they’re witches. As it turns out he’s doing the modern equivalent.

“Rick Santorum has picked up a new career. The 55-year-old politician is now the CEO of Echolight Studios, a faith-based film company.

Santorum announced the move on Mike Huckabee’s Fox News program, “The Huckabee Show.” “This is the right place and right time, and I’ve jumped in with both feet,” the former GOP Presidential candidate said. “I often say that culture is upstream from politics, and I know entertainment also can be strength and light for people who want to be uplifted and reinforced in their values.”

EchoLight Studios, which has released various family films with a focus on faith, has a new movie, “The Redemption of Henry Myers,” set for a theatrical release this fall.

“Many of you have heard me talk about that if we are going to make a positive impact on our country’s cultural challenges, we have to do it by reaching the masses often through entertainment,” Santorum said in a release. “For too long, Hollywood has had a lock on influencing the youth of this country with a flawed message that goes against our values. Now, we can change that.” – THE HUFFINGTON POST

No, Rick, you can’t change that. “Faith Based” shit has a distinct odor of suck to it that one can see coming a mile away. Like Christian Rock or anything with Kirk Cameron in it you see it or hear it and pretty much just turn it off. Even Christians, for the most part, would rather listen to Black Sabbath or watch BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. You can dress up “Faith Based” entertainment in all the sexy dresses and expensive makeup you want. It’s still going to be a fat teenage girl who eats too much fast food and has body odor like a rotting seal corpse.

And what in the hell is THE HUCKABEE SHOW? I just picture a live camera feed from a basement somewhere with Mike Huckabee whistling DIXIE whilst strangling Latinos with a Confederate Flag. Or trying to. He’s kind of a small man, actually. In every sense of the word. But, hey, the whites like him. Well, some of the whites. I mean I’m white but I pretty much just ignore him altogether. Well, when I say “ignore” I really mean “regularly watch him on TV with the sound off making monkey and bird noises”. Just like when I’m in traffic court or on the phone with the student loan people.

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